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My mom is 87 and cannot live alone any more. My Older Sister if POA and I feel she pushes off her responsibility of asking mom what she want to do with her house. When I ask mom she acts and replies as if I have interest in her estate. I tell her that her other daughter want to know. She acts mean with me and then doesn't act like that with my sister. This is one of the many faces of abuse that we have grown up with. My sister also suffers a loss of her husband last year. However I just cannot do it no more I feel that it puts a strain on my marriage. I am tired, cranky when I have to deal with Mom. Is it selfish to feel like this? And how should I present it to my Older Sister!?

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Nellie, I read your profile and the background to your posting. Please note that no everyone is cut out to be a caregiver, and there is nothing wrong with that. I am one of those people. I see from your profile that you and your sister takes turns having Mom at your houses, you one month, your sister the next... but your brothers are not on the rotation list. Why not? What are their reasons? Do they live too far away?

If your siblings find they can no longer handle your Mom, maybe it is time for her to be placed in a continuing care facility which Medicaid will pay for her.... and help her learn how to care for herself. Plus be around people from her own age group. You did mention estate, well your Mom could be "self-pay" until her funds run out, then she could go onto Medicaid.
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