I have guilt from placing a loved one in a memory care facility.
My dad has dementia and lived with my mother. Mother has a very short fuse, no patience or tolerance. She was downright mean to my dad and refused to learn anything about his illness or proper ways to take care of him. She refuses any home health, etc. She has been telling me for months that she can't take it any more. She told me basically to get him out of her house and she never wants to see him again. I made arrangements to move him to a nice ALF memory care near home. Mom refused to help select the place, fill the paperwork or to participate the day he was taken there. I am an only child and I did all of this on my own. He was moved almost 2 weeks ago. Now mom cries every day from the guilt. I don't know what to say. I truly don't think she tried to take care of him and I think her meanness crossed the line toward abuse. However, I also know we all have our limits and she's 75 herself. Mostly here to vent but appreciate any and all input! PS - I've been telling her for at least a year to please be nice to him, otherwise someday she would regret her behavior. Now she does.