Follow
Share

My mother has lived with me for about 5 years. Just recently became her legal guardian through the court. My mother does have income from a couple of sources and I've never used it. I'm wondering if I can be paid for services. I give her injections daily, bathing, cooking, laundry and everything else. I did not receive a guidline from the court. This is an Ohio guardianship.

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Find Care & Housing
A mother taking care of her children doesn't do it so the children can take care of them when they are old. Lord I hope I never put this burden or guilt on my children.
(1)
Report

I agree Life2sh. There are so many various dynamics that occur within a family when there are seniors who need care. It seems that old issues rise to the surface and it presents an outlet for all kinds of dysfunction. Expectations seem to vary greatly from family to family, even sibling to sibling. It seems the positions are often quite skewed in one direction or the other, with the middle ground being rare.
(0)
Report

Everyone with your negative comments it is obvious you have never been a caregiver to someone with Alzheimer's for years. Personally it is financially, emotionally and physically draining. As a parent I would not want my child to go through this. Taking care of a parent with memory loss requires a lot of time from your life and the ones that you love. Unless you've been in it Knee Deep you have no idea. I am single mother that took care of my mother for almost five years with pleasure. Unfortunately it has financially destroyed my life. My children have suffered and our lives have changed. Being a caregiver puts your life, family and career on hold. I pray if my children ever had to discuss caretaking for me that they would work out something that one or the other would be compensated from my estate for my caregiving. As a mother taking care of my children all their life is not something I'm looking to be repaid or they should feel they owe me. I took care of my children because it was my job, choice and my life. Taking care of me when I am old or with Alzheimer's is not their choice and I would not want to disrupt their lives in such a manner. I suggest everybody should stop and think what would you want for your child if they would put in a situation to care for you?
(3)
Report

Thanks all for your comments. I understand all of them. Maybe I didn't explain clearly. I not only have my mom, but have my dad also after he became ill. I have to work and miss work when they need appointments. When mom is hospitalized, I'm there day and night. I will not leave her to the care of others because I know how it can be. Not asking for MONEY for anything other than their needs.
(0)
Report

I think a couple of you gave very negative comments and it's unkind and not helpful.

@perks1 I think that you don't necessarily pay yourself with her money, but pay for her care with her money so you aren't using all of your money to pay for her. IF she were in a nursing home all that money would come from her accounts and not yours. And it's a lot cheaper to care for her at home than in a nursing home.
(1)
Report

So now that you can have access to her money, you want payment? Good grief! Act like a loving daughter and repay her for all the things she did for you from birth to adulthood. If you are destitute, that is another story, but you have been taking care of her for five years.
(0)
Report

Perks, any payment to you for her care would have to be approved by the court, most likely, at this point. You should see an elder law attorney for assitance in Ohio. When a third party guardian is appointed by the court, if there are resources, they are paid and quite well.

Raising a child and caring for an aging parent that is not able to care for themselves are very different. A child you are able to teach them and watch them grow into responsible adults is rewarding in itself. Caring for an elder in decline is very, very difficult and many times the reward is being able to pat ourselves on the back look at ourselves in the mirror and say to ourselves well done. Caring for an elder is very isolating and lonely particularly when there is family dysfunction. With children there are activities and friends with fun things to do. Many times when there are siblings concerned about their inheritance, do not want to pay the caregiver child because of the potential impact on inheritance. I look at it this way, if ALL siblings were participating and either providing financial support for parent, or all contributing equally for care, then inheritance can remain intact. If an only child that caregiver may need compensation in order to help plan for retirement or a wide variety of reasons.
(6)
Report

You say that you have been taking care of your Mom for 5 yrs and wondering if it is alright to ask payment for it. Maybe but you have to compute all those years your Mom took care of your without pay.
(0)
Report

Read the court document. Any payment to you is ordered by the court. If you do this without the Judge's approval, he will frown on it.
(1)
Report

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter