I am grieving the loss of my spouse, but he is still living in a Alzheimer's facility.

Started by


I recently experienced just what you are talking about. Spend as much time as you possibly can with your spouse. Treasure every minute. And take care of yourself the best way you can. God bless both of you!
Thank you patstantu, I just feel so so lonely, I don't know how to help myself or to how to move forward, he is gone, but still very much alive. All of our so called friends have disappeared.
I've heard Alzheimers called a "very long goodbye." My dad has it and I keep telling myselft to treasure every moment with him. I'm sure he is doing the same - in the moments when he's lucid. Take comfort in the fact that at some point he knew this was coming and appreciates, loves and remembers all you have done together in your lives.
Oh yes, it was a long goodbye for me when my dad got ALZ. I knew it was coming, but it still was the hardest goodbye I ever had to say. I still miss him terribly after all these years.
My heart goes out to you, Lousey and all others who have to make this journey. It is heartbreaking.
Sorry to hear your loneliness. I'm sure your evenings are the longest as that is when most couples spend time together and it must be lonely by yourself especially meal time. You might consider changinging your routine and maybe take a yoga class in evening, call a friend right before or after dinner time just to chat. It is sad that couple friends stay away, but please don't turn down any invitations or feel like the third wheel. My mom did this and yet none of the other couples felt she was a third wheel at all.

You might have to make the first move and start a card night or dine out eve, etc. consider joining or starting a support group and you might meet others you have something in common with to spend time together, go to a movie, or just have over to dinner. A good place to start might be right at the AL where your husband is... Good luck and please consider adding a small new activity every week or month to help you transition to this new phase in life. And always come here. We're happy to listen or just keep you company!

Keep the conversation going (or start a new one)

Please enter your Comment

Ask a Question

Reach thousands of elder care experts and family caregivers
Get answers in 10 minutes or less
Receive personalized caregiving advice and support