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I am so grateful for all the sharing of stories! I came to NJ from Ca Dec 2016 to help my Dad cross (Feb 2016) He was my Moms (93 and sweet as pie) caretaker and they were married 60 years. I have siblings but I’m the one. Today at 4:30 she got up walked into the bedroom and went to bed without a word. I googled “why do people with dementia sleep a lot” and found you guys. I have read your posts, laughed and cried. Thank you! It’s nice to know that we are sharing this walk in life right now and in spite of the sadness can find humor and joy. Although mom isn’t the woman I knew it’s an honor to help her and get to know this new person who is so complex and surprising! Wishing us all the best!

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Grateful to have had a steak dinner tonight gma inlaw loved it naturally but it still would have been nice to finish my own supper before she asked multiple times to feed her dog smh I wish she understood ppl eat before doggies do🙄
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Dear Cheylily,

You are definitely not alone. Me, too. I badly wished I had found this site before my father passed last year. There is so much wonderful support and comfort and information at this site.
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It is wonderful to know I'm not alone and only 2 ppl I know actually know for sure what I go thru and when I can't call them to b**ch it out I come here to read and read and read realizing others have got it way worse and I get to learn what's ahead for me. Thank you everyone for your thoughts and kind words
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katiekay: You are so right. God bless the people on this site because if we don't share, we essentially help no one.
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My Aunt will be 90 in less than two weeks and she still tells me she is grateful for the time she spent helping care for my mother. They were seven years apart in age, my Aunt being younger. Mom's been gone10 years now but my Aunt and I still talk about the two years we spent caring for her.
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I am also so grateful for this site .. and I also count it as a big part of my support system. Literally no one else in real life even comes close to "getting it". I would have felt so all alone in this journey if I hadn't started coming here more then 3 years ago.

There have been so many dark times when I have spiraled down emotionally and felt all alone in my troubles. I hate to see others suffering as well.. but I think with suffering comes great empathy and kindness towards others.

You will never know the effect of one encouraging post, a virtual hug, understanding advice... it all means so much.

So thank you.. I am grateful!
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I'm not sure what my mom stage is and she has dementia and Parkinson's can anyone let me know I try to move my mom's head and there was stiff she couldn't move I seen her looking at me but I was moving side to side and I didn't see her eyes moving side to side she used to be able to grip my hand what stage would she be in right now my sibling won't tell me nothing. She's in charge of my mom's health and she just hates me for no reason and I just hear it Through the Grapevine what's going on with my mom. Can she still hear me she used to squeeze my hand and she doesn't anymore. Me and my mom is very close and my sister only had my mom for less than a year my mom live with me for 30 years of our marriage so I asked my sister to help me take care of my mom but she said I don't want her bouncing from house to house which she had like 6 different people watching her at her house she spent very little time with my mom I know my mom like the back of my hand my mom would tell me things about my sister and I know that it's true because she used to do these things before my sister had no patience for my mom and now she's blaming us for Sharon my mom with their family which she Verity spend any time with her she had like 6 different people watching her while my sister went on vacations and she couldn't handle it she was stressed blah blah blah. How would I know how my mom's doing if I can ask my sister or my
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As an aside, if I can help one person from going down a dark hole by any  words that I post, then I am blessed beyond measure by that individual.
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It is always an inspirational to hear someone speak as you do. It helps me adjust my attitude (and I am sure many others) about why we do what we do, which is honor to these souls that did so much for so long, and now need someone to care for them. I am thankful for you and your wisdom.
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You are absolutely right it is an honor to get to love and help a parent when they need us the most. I feel very lucky that I was here to help. I get to cherish every second I got to help my mom. I was very lucky to have had a great mom & dad and a great life. I lost my mom this year and my dad in 1979 and a brother in 1971.
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bookluvr: Oh, my...since you were suicidal, I am so glad you found us! Please...you don't have to go it alone...come back on here as much as you want.
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I'm so grateful for all the wonderful people that I am able to read about here on this site, because they are caregivers and they tell about their family members who were also wonderful people. I learn so much here.

I'm also so grateful for all of the people in my life and my blessings. Whenever, I feel a little sorry for my situation, I think about those who really have it hard. Like those with dementia. It's hearbreaking. AND, I also saw a story on tv last night about a little boy who has a condition (genetic, from birth) in which his skin blisters and peels. He must constantly puncture the burns, clean and bandage them. Basically, it's like having deep burns all over your body. There is no cure and he will always live this way, if he is able to avoid infections and skin cancer.  It made me weep and realize that my problems are not so severe.
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I was a full time worker when my dad had his stroke and became bedridden. I was drowning juggling my job and taking care of 2 bedridden parents. I googled 'how to take care of 2 bedridden parents' and found this site. It was just in time - because I was seriously suicidal, had the plan all set up, etc...

I will always be grateful to this site, and all the posters who helped me away from the cliff's edge... I will always be grateful from reading all the different topics to help me handle my dad's verbal and physical abuses. To learn to stand up for myself without our usual yelling matches...and knowing that there were others here who had it sooooo much worse than me! O_O

Most importantly, I will always be grateful how the people here were My emotional and spiritual (not necessary religious) support group during my caregiving years.  My previous therapist didn't think this counted as a support system for me.  I disagreed with her.  You all understood me better than any of my friends, family, associates, etc... Thank you!!!!
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Thank you for your kind comments and good wishes, Friends!

For you who have lost your loved ones already, I am sorry for your pain. And lizzy1952 I’m sorry to hear about your husbands recent diagnosis. Try and savor the time that you still have together.

Three years ago I also helped my husband cross over from multiple glioblastoma (brain cancer) which oddly enough my Dad also had! I was blessed to have known my husband and to be a part of his life.
When the Doc gave him the diagnosis his reply was “Well, I didn’t think I would live forever!” Something I keep in mind on this journey.

Being grateful is much easier when caring for a sweethearted person than a crabby one, but Yes, this is MY choice, my life and as long as I am following my heart and being authentic I am on solid ground.

Blessings and continued gratitude for you all!
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Yes, welcome! You will find a wealth of helpful information on here. 
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Dear Friends,

I echo your sentiments! I only wish I found this site while my dad was first diagnosed with his stroke. Since his passing the support and understanding I have received has sustained me. I am filled with so much gratitude for all the kindness and support here. You all are amazing! Have a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend!!!
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I am so great full for all of you who take the little bit of time you have for yourselves and write to us about your feelings, pain and experiences with being a caregiver. I have learned many things and ideas from all of you. there was a point I didn't think I could go on any longer watching the people who I love die a little bit every day, than some how I found this site and I thank god for all of you. I learned there are so many wonderful people who are willing to give up a big part of their life to care for loved ones who are in need. I learned that love comes in many different ways and caring for someone is part of it. I also learned that each and everyone of you have a special place in your heart and will be rewarded in this life or the next. and because of this site I was able to lift my head up high from my depression and go on. I have lost both my parents recently and the pain is unbelievable but I know that I made their lives happier and less painful being their for and with them. those special moments with them will be in my heart forever, and at the same time they taught me that I can go on and I am strong enough to deal with whatever life decides to throw my way.
my caregiving days are not over as while caring for my parents I also care for my husband who has parkingsons disease . we just found out he also has prostrate cancer. I will continue to care for him and will continue to learn from everyone of you and hopefully my experiences can help you also.
god bless and have a wonderful holiday season....
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Lots to be grateful for.
The help and support of friends and family.
(and possibly the wisdom to know when to step away from an argument)
The idea that I was able to help my Husband through the last several years of his life with grace and strength that I never knew I had.
(It is amazing what we learn about ourselves and others during these times)
I am grateful for the AMAZING people that do Hospice work. It can't be easy knowing that every patient you care for will die.
(It is wonderful that they help to maintain grace and dignity when there is nothing left)
I am grateful that I have discovered that I am stronger than I thought.
(I thank God that I am a person that others in the same situation I have been in feel comfortable leaning on me for support)

I wish all a wonderful Holiday season.

Here is a quote I recently found.
We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned,
so as to have the life that is waiting for us.
Joseph Campbell

Be strong, be well.....
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I want to offer each person on this blog a peace-filled and great weekend and a heart-full season.

This has been a year of many challenges for us on so many levels! I am so grateful to have this space to connect, learn, support and receive support.

I am grateful for the combined wisdom in this site, for each one of you, and for our hearts and our ability to share.

I am also grateful to be able to take a turkey sandwich picnic to the gardens of the Nursing Home my 96 year old Mom is in, so she can share in the Thanksgiving festivities too!
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The complexity and amazement does entertain us, doesn't it? I stopped explaining my position to my family because no. 1 it is my choice and I don't have to explain my choice to anyone just live with it and not complain. No. 2 I've had a great life before this choice and God willing will continue to have a great life when her life is over. We did nursing home living when she was to have "therapy" for knee replacement. What a joke. I spent more time visiting daily and on the phone with the DON because she would call me 30 times a day (mostly while I am at work) she is wet, they are not answering her page, food is cold, etc. and her complaints were absolutely warranted. Been taking care of her ever since I put my foot down, asked the family to give me their off days for just one month. That was 15 years ago. Never regretted it.
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Wonderful posting!
After my mother passed, I had 7.5 years of helping my dad. I wouldn't trade one of those days - I got to know my dad after all these years. It was an eye-opener!
And he got to know his daughters. When he left to be with Mom, he looked content.
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I like your heading. Thank you for the reminder to be just that -- grateful.
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Welcome! So glad you found this site. Your mom is lucky to have you and your positive attitude! I bet you miss the California weather about now:)
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