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I am so grateful for all the sharing of stories! I came to NJ from Ca Dec 2016 to help my Dad cross (Feb 2016) He was my Moms (93 and sweet as pie) caretaker and they were married 60 years. I have siblings but I’m the one. Today at 4:30 she got up walked into the bedroom and went to bed without a word. I googled “why do people with dementia sleep a lot” and found you guys. I have read your posts, laughed and cried. Thank you! It’s nice to know that we are sharing this walk in life right now and in spite of the sadness can find humor and joy. Although mom isn’t the woman I knew it’s an honor to help her and get to know this new person who is so complex and surprising! Wishing us all the best!


Welcome! So glad you found this site. Your mom is lucky to have you and your positive attitude! I bet you miss the California weather about now:)
I like your heading. Thank you for the reminder to be just that -- grateful.
Wonderful posting!
After my mother passed, I had 7.5 years of helping my dad. I wouldn't trade one of those days - I got to know my dad after all these years. It was an eye-opener!
And he got to know his daughters. When he left to be with Mom, he looked content.
The complexity and amazement does entertain us, doesn't it? I stopped explaining my position to my family because no. 1 it is my choice and I don't have to explain my choice to anyone just live with it and not complain. No. 2 I've had a great life before this choice and God willing will continue to have a great life when her life is over. We did nursing home living when she was to have "therapy" for knee replacement. What a joke. I spent more time visiting daily and on the phone with the DON because she would call me 30 times a day (mostly while I am at work) she is wet, they are not answering her page, food is cold, etc. and her complaints were absolutely warranted. Been taking care of her ever since I put my foot down, asked the family to give me their off days for just one month. That was 15 years ago. Never regretted it.
I want to offer each person on this blog a peace-filled and great weekend and a heart-full season.

This has been a year of many challenges for us on so many levels! I am so grateful to have this space to connect, learn, support and receive support.

I am grateful for the combined wisdom in this site, for each one of you, and for our hearts and our ability to share.

I am also grateful to be able to take a turkey sandwich picnic to the gardens of the Nursing Home my 96 year old Mom is in, so she can share in the Thanksgiving festivities too!

Lots to be grateful for.
The help and support of friends and family.
(and possibly the wisdom to know when to step away from an argument)
The idea that I was able to help my Husband through the last several years of his life with grace and strength that I never knew I had.
(It is amazing what we learn about ourselves and others during these times)
I am grateful for the AMAZING people that do Hospice work. It can't be easy knowing that every patient you care for will die.
(It is wonderful that they help to maintain grace and dignity when there is nothing left)
I am grateful that I have discovered that I am stronger than I thought.
(I thank God that I am a person that others in the same situation I have been in feel comfortable leaning on me for support)

I wish all a wonderful Holiday season.

Here is a quote I recently found.
We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned,
so as to have the life that is waiting for us.
Joseph Campbell

Be strong, be well.....
I am so great full for all of you who take the little bit of time you have for yourselves and write to us about your feelings, pain and experiences with being a caregiver. I have learned many things and ideas from all of you. there was a point I didn't think I could go on any longer watching the people who I love die a little bit every day, than some how I found this site and I thank god for all of you. I learned there are so many wonderful people who are willing to give up a big part of their life to care for loved ones who are in need. I learned that love comes in many different ways and caring for someone is part of it. I also learned that each and everyone of you have a special place in your heart and will be rewarded in this life or the next. and because of this site I was able to lift my head up high from my depression and go on. I have lost both my parents recently and the pain is unbelievable but I know that I made their lives happier and less painful being their for and with them. those special moments with them will be in my heart forever, and at the same time they taught me that I can go on and I am strong enough to deal with whatever life decides to throw my way.
my caregiving days are not over as while caring for my parents I also care for my husband who has parkingsons disease . we just found out he also has prostrate cancer. I will continue to care for him and will continue to learn from everyone of you and hopefully my experiences can help you also.
god bless and have a wonderful holiday season....
Dear Friends,

I echo your sentiments! I only wish I found this site while my dad was first diagnosed with his stroke. Since his passing the support and understanding I have received has sustained me. I am filled with so much gratitude for all the kindness and support here. You all are amazing! Have a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend!!!
Yes, welcome! You will find a wealth of helpful information on here. 
Thank you for your kind comments and good wishes, Friends!

For you who have lost your loved ones already, I am sorry for your pain. And lizzy1952 I’m sorry to hear about your husbands recent diagnosis. Try and savor the time that you still have together.

Three years ago I also helped my husband cross over from multiple glioblastoma (brain cancer) which oddly enough my Dad also had! I was blessed to have known my husband and to be a part of his life.
When the Doc gave him the diagnosis his reply was “Well, I didn’t think I would live forever!” Something I keep in mind on this journey.

Being grateful is much easier when caring for a sweethearted person than a crabby one, but Yes, this is MY choice, my life and as long as I am following my heart and being authentic I am on solid ground.

Blessings and continued gratitude for you all!

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