My 91-year-old grandmother is slowly destroying our house.
Right now my family is in the terrible situation of not being able to find someone to mortgage our house. Its pretty stressful since we might have to move out soon and don't have the necessary budget to land on our feet decently if we can't find someplace soon.
Besides that comes my 91 year old grandmother who is just getting worse and worse. We take care of her because we absolutely cannot afford to put her into a decent home.
The following happened in less than one week.
Knowing we might sell the house I decided to take care of some big home improvement jobs to just make the house look better. So I decided to sand away the rust and paint the porch railings and steel gates last week. 9 hours of hard work in one day and just when I am about to call it a day my sister comes storming outside yelling at me to come in because our living room is getting flooded. My grandmother clogged the toilet and just stayed in the bathroom without telling anyone. She only came out when my mother was screaming and pleading with her to leave.
The end result was a pool of toilet water floating around on one floor and getting soaked up in the carpet. A lot of toilet water was also dripping through to the basement and slightly flooding a very large area where we keep the washer and dryer, christmas lights, winter clothes and other things we need.
My grandmother's reacted like it wasn't her fault. She just kept yelling how we just use her for her money and how nobody likes her. Its far from the truth. My mother, sister and I do whatever possibly we can for her to live the most comfortable life someone her age can live. But its never good enough. No matter how good the food or coffee and snacks. The trips outside once in a while and just sitting down and spending time it is never good enough.
After I decided to shut the water off from the toilet and start flushing the toilet for her whenever she was done. I also shut off the sink and placed a plastic red bowl full of hot water with some soap in it and refill it every time I possibly can.
A day later she is going to the bathroom and not really saying anything about it which is good, but I notice that literally every time she went to the bathroom there was no toilet paper in the toilet. The toilet paper was being used, but it was nowhere to be found. The smell of urine was the strongest it has ever been in her room, but we have a commode for her there and I just thought maybe it needed to be cleaned. Everytime I checked it, it was dry. The smell was still there.
It was enough doing what my whole family had to do before for her. Now being on bathroom watch 24/7 and for me to be the one to flush the toilet, clean the wash bowl and refill the toilet paper was real tough to accept, but I accepted it. It was the only way.
I must state now that before all of this we used to leave her cups of water to drink and when that was happening I noticed there were two leaks occuring once in a while that would drip to the basement. It turns out she was just dumping the water in one side of her room and it completely ate away at some of the hardwood flooring. There now a city of silverfish living there that have invaded our house for the past year. They are all over the bathrooms and couches and ..well... they are everywhere because of the nice moisture spot for them to grow in my grandmother's place.
Another thing before this all happened is that my grandmother had a small carpet mat by her bed. When we were all sleeping she would get up and just urinate on it and that too damaged the hardwood floor. I would not be surprised if one of us or her fall through one day.
I was angry when it happened I'll admit even though I know she her dementia is quite significant. Still, her bathroom is literally less than 10 steps away. If she got up and walked 10 steps she would be a the toilet.
So now comes the worst part that happened tonight. Remember the commode in her room? Well my mother wanted to give her a shower and she was just checking out around her bed and screamed. My grandmother for the past two months was dumping the urine on the mattress and it leaked through and stained the entire floor. The missing toilet paper? Yeah it's all around the mattress and the wood is all soaked in urine. For the second day in a row (running out of characters to explain yesterday's misfortune) my mother, sister and myself had to do a big clean up job late at night.
This is all becoming such a torment for my entire family. We are all exhausted. My mother is a hardworking RN who is close to 60 years old and I can tell she doesn't have the energy to do this everyday. Me and my sister try and try, but we get beat down to the point were we almost get sick.
I'm looking for any advice and I really just needed a place to post this. I'm slowly losing it. Its too much.
Any insights/opinions is greatly appreciated. I really don't know what to do anymore. I'm 29 yet I feel so empty and lethargic and I can't think.