Grandmother was put in home even though I wanted her with me. Now visiting her is a gut wrenching nightmare for me.
My grandmother took care of me a lot when I was younger and now that I am a homeschooling mom and she(90) has dementia, I would like to return the favor. But my father and sisters decided to put her in a home instead and I'm having trouble dealing with it. She is physically very able, just a bit wobbly but her mind is mostly gone. I visit her as often as I can, but I live an hour away. I have grown to hate visiting because I spend my whole time trying to fix all the things that are wrong, ie wrong clothes, moldy cups, missing toiletries, and trying to reassure her that she is safe. It's not a child friendly place at all so its difficult to bring the boys up there. My family is not particularly close and all the decisions are made without me and all my pleas to be her caretaker are just discounted as ridiculous, why would anyone want to take that responsibility on? I just feel so powerless as I watch her deteriorate and can't do anything but reassure her of what I don't actually believe.