Anticipatory grief and having to say goodbye to my Mom.

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My mom's life will be ending soon. Her health was too frail to endure the strength for recovery after her surgery. I have the chance to spend one more Mother's Day with her before she starts her journey home to God. All artifical life sustaining measures will come to an end and she will be put in God's hands. This site has been a godsent for me and I thank everyone over the past two years who have helped me endure the care in my mom. I am so sad as I write this and hope she did not suffer in the ICU while the doctors attempted a successful recovery. If mother's day was not approaching she would be gone soon, but I want this last time to have her with me on Mother's Day. I hope I am not being selfish, prolonging her death a little bit longer.

3 Comments

debra , if you look at the obits and see the young lives ending violently and way too soon it becomes easier to see the long life of an elder as a real gift even if theres discomfort and sickness involved. none of us have the guarantee of another day..
my mother lives to 82 and thats a miracle considering 60 years of diabetes damaging her organs. id love to see 82..
Be thankful for every minute you had. My mother died at 37, I was 10. If she was there for your wedding, for your babies, be glad and focus on what you shared. Remember she is being set free, released from this purgatory we call Life. Good for her! Not so good for those left behind.
I think after Mother's Day is an appropriate time for the decisions you reluctantly have to make. It's as if you can celebrate this important day with her one last time, and have time to say your goodbyes.

Captain's points are good; one only has to listen to the news of military deaths of young people to realize that we who are still alive are fortunate.

Think that these times you've had with your mother are gifts to both of you, that you've been able to help guide her through her last days, and that the gift you give her of relief from suffering is the last and perhaps the best gift you can give her, releasing her from a physical life which is no longer sustainable.

Cherish Mother's Day and remember always how much you've helped her during these last years, and how much in the future you will cherish the importance of those years.

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