Going out of the way to help an elderly person.

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I have noticed that it is unusual for people to go out of their way to help an older person. Such as, when an older man is in a wheel chair and he is having to wheel himself around the check outs while he is also on oxygen, to go to the rest room. I know everyone have their own concerns, but it is no secret that these elderly gents and ladies would not forget the compassion you show them! Especially when it is obvious they need help, back in my day it was taught to help them. Open the door, "can I help you", etc.


When I've been out with my mother or with my husband (both with dementia, in wheelchairs) I have experienced courtesy and kindness. When my husband was still able to go about on his own on a mobility scooter people were helpful to him, or at least that is how he saw it. So I'm pretty sure at least some people do go out of their way to offer help. I don't suppose everyone does. I don't suppose even back in my day everyone did.

I suspect that you are preaching to the choir here ... after being caregivers I think most of us are sensitive to persons in need and generally try to help if we can.
interesting subject. i think this hard economy has caused people to act desperate and self centered in the last few years. this whole nightmarish global economy needs some rethinking then maybe people can slow down and smell the roses a bit. what we have is not working. the wealth is not trickling down. the german government about a year ago put the word out to industry that the pressure and abuse was going to cease. i think greed is what is hurting humankind more than any other single factor. the banks are govt entities with cutesy names printed on the doors so its the government that is cracking the whip to force more productivity out of us. think 1980's " workforce restructuring " .. think current euro austerity measures. people are desperate and it dont have to be this way..
Years ago my very fragile mom, with her rolling walker/seat went with my dad, my husband and me to the buffet at The Paris hotel and casino on Mothers Day. As usual there was a long line. We were fine with waiting our turn, but other patrons and the hostess waved us up to the front. I started to decline, and then realized how vulnerable my mom looked to others and the kindness being shown. We accepted the kindness and I look back at that with a sad smile.
I've noticed that if there is a wheelchair or a walker, then people are super nice and helpful. But if there isn't, an elder is often invisible.
Recently, heading out of town, there was a little old lady carrying two shopping bags walking along the side of the country road, no houses in sight, traffic just thundering by. I swung around to pick her up and took her home, which was far down the road. She said she'd been ill and unable to drive. I'd forgotten all about it until I saw this post. I think we give people a hand here and there spontaneously though, now living in the country, I find people are more likely to give one another a hand. Perhaps it's the slower (and more civilized) way of life.

I live in a small rural community with many elders . I don't notice so many others that stop to help, but I do.... if they can't find something in the grocery store... or it's on a bottom or top shelf.... but these old folks are also fiercely independent..... sometimes they will decline the help..... saying they can do it themselves.... have to admire and respect that....
This reminded me of something that happened in the grocery store. An older woman suddenly grabbed my arm. I didn't know her. She held on for a minute and told me she had felt dizzy, like she was spinning. You can tell I am a caregiver. It seemed the most natural thing in the world to stand there until she had her bearings back. Sometimes helping doesn't require any effort at all. I'm glad she wasn't feeling like she needed to hit somebody. :)
Actually I have found that many people offer to help me these days. I realize I look as though I need it and in fact appreciate it. I still emotionally feel as though I am a caregiver but make a point of accepting and thanking the helpers with a smile. I am also very independent and usually find a way to do things on my own when there is no one else around.
i agree with ashlynne, in the rural areas people vehemently watch out for each other. we need each other and have micro economies going on.
i saw an old lady in a wheelchair today at ednas rehab facility blocking the aisle that i wanted to traverse . she was beside an old guy , also in a wheelchair and i thought they were talking so i tried to wait them out. a closer glance showed that the old man was out of it with dementia and the old lady was trying to get past his chair but one of her footrests had came off and was entrapping both of them. i reattached her footrest, adjusted the height of it , told her her other dammit was missing, then asked a nurse to get her a second footrest. i was kindly thanked by the old gal and indeed enjoyed helping a helpless person out. i have an eye for the things people struggle with, always have had. i un -f**k things. im going to be giving some thought to what i might do in the elder care arena for a living. i think i communicate masterfully with less than coherant people as i compare my technics to the professionals ive met in the field. ive shaken up stone masonry with so much impact that theres little challenge left and i could walk away from it in a minute for something more challenging and rewarding. with little training i could be in the capacity of patient advocate and work in a professional environment with a staff of HOT looking women.
Aah...Captain. I should have known better. Here I thought you were evolving into a new leaf. You are going to add good works with the elder cares on top of your masonry. Then I read your last sentence, and laughed. Nope, you haven't changed at all. Just changing tactics.

I see a lot of elderlies refusing to go to the front of the line (stores or post office.) They prefer to wait in line with everyone. I have several time offered them to cut in front of me but they refuse.

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