Am ready to give up & feel HOPELESS!!!
I'm the sole caregiver for my mom & s-dad. I have NO help and am on disability myself for chronic pain conditions and depression. My pain doesn't matter. I'm hitting bottom with depression and feel hopeless. I have NO life of my own. I feel so guilty and try to keep my mom's spirits up, but nothing I say helps. My mom sits at the kitchen table all day, chain smoking and hangs her head. I do what I can, but stay in my room most all day, everyday. I try to sleep as much as I can b/c I can't stand the negativity and darkness in the house. I'm being real honest here... I pray to go to sleep and not wake up. I have no money to move out and cannot get any Assistance. I 've had to stop seeing my therapist b/c I cannot afford to pay her. My own pain is very bad 24/7. I have no friends. They don't like any visitors and my s-dad is very sexually inappropriate to anyone who comes into their house, so people keep their distance. I've called the Office of Aging and any other places I thought could help, but since my mom & s-dad are of sound mind they can and do refuse all outside help. I have a s-sister close by, but she can't handle the oppressive negativity or her father's awful comments he makes to her and about her. I understand. If/when something happens to my mom, I'll be homeless. My only joy in life is my 4yo dog, who is my World! I can't lose him! That would be the end of me, as my heart would literally break! I'll end up living in my car, making sure my puppy gets excellent care. Then my s-sister said she'd call the police on me if I stayed in my car, even though I can't live with her. I have nowhere to turn and cannot keep up the pace of taking care of all the chores & caregiving. I'm physically amd emotionally in trouble. Thanks everyone for being here! Your support means the world to me!