How can I get mom to take her night time meds around 10 at night so I can at least get some sleep at night.

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My mom has dementia and I have little to no help most weeks. She crys all day every day. She has never been a happy person but now it is awful. She lashes out at me every afternoon and the doctors have tried everything medication wise. She abuse pain meds for years so she has a huge tolerance for drugs. I would like for her to take her night time meds at a decent hour so I can at least get some sleep but she fights me every night. She wants to stay up all night. She is getting more than I can handle but she has no money and I am afraid to put her in a nursing home.


Afraid of what? You are paralyzing yourself. It's no favor to her for her to be in a situation that is getting out of control and it is no favor for the world for you to get sick or go under, yourself. Get some information, perspective, help. You took a great first step reaching out for other people's perspective by writing this forum. Now, have some hope that there is another way to care for your mom, and go look for it. Find and call your local elder department.If you don't know where to look, the nurses at the doctors' office will know. Good luck.
If your can try and get your doctor to give your the some meds in liquid form. It was a mission/nightmare for me because my gran would act like a child and fight with me when it came to giving her the tablets. My gran would hide her pills under her tougue, pretend to shallow it and spit it out when i wasn't looking for months, until i caught her one evening. I told the doctor and now i have to put the liquid meds in a sweet soft drink without her knowing or seeing. I hate been sneaky it feels like im being wicked to her but its the only way for me. But before the doctors agreed to the liquid meds i gave her a herd called "Valerian" i would put a few drops in a drink or sweet tea and it helped her sleep. But get your doctors advice before giving her anything first.
Well the reason I am afraid is that the only 2 affordable nursing home close to us have been closed because of abuse. I have been looking into elder care department.Hopefully I will find more answers there. Thank You
Moonlily, often people with dementia get to the point where they need more supervision than even a very devoted and loving caregiver can provide at home. It sounds like your mother may have reached that point. It is a diservice to her (not to mention self-destructive to yourself) to keep her home.

Placing her in a care center is NOT abandoning her. You will still love her, visit her, and advocate for her. That advocating starts with getting her on Medicaid and researching the facilities that accept Medicaid in your area.

Good luck! And let us know the progress.

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