Providing 24/7 care or skilled nursing.
I have been on a merry go round with mom. She broke her upper arm in March, I hired private home care to come in 3 times a week and help with showers. She broke her pelvis on July 12, came from skilled nursing at our hospital on August 7. The next day she had a horrible headache, wouldn't move much, finally got her to go to the ER. She has arrythmia problems. They got her heart back in sync in the ER, admitted her and they had to do it again on Friday. Cardiologist signed off on her leaving, but her primary care didn't think she was strong enough. PT eval today and they recommended back to skilled nursing. After talking with several care managers and residents (who gave other reasons why she couldn't go to that unit), I found out they think she has progressed as much as she can.
They expect her to come home (we live together) and for the family to provide 24/7 care, that will be me. One sibling here, but he goes to Florida in September and stays til May. They all assume since I work from home, I can take care of her 24/7 and she is high maintenance when she is healthy. I am a cancer survivor and don't have the best health to start with.
The other option is to see if a nursing home will take her in their skilled nursing unit and evaluate her over 7 days. If they think she will progress, she can stay there. I don't have any idea if her medicare replacement plan will pay for it, etc... Now she has another UTI and is confused. She thinks she is home and we left her alone, the nurses have called several times saying she wants to talk to me.
My brother that is here, for now, told her he thinks skilled care is her best answer, she will progress better at a facility than at home with a few PT and OT visits each week.
Why do I feel so bad for helping enforce that decision? I am so not ready to do full time care, take care of the house, my son, work full time and have a life. I am not even sure she understands since she is so confused today. Oh, she had a roommate who was calling for the nurse, mom evidently attempted to get out of bed to help her. Her bed alarm went off and they found her on the floor Indian style, she has no idea she did that or why. They moved her to a private room near the nurses station and the last call, she told me Brenda was going home soon and there was no one there to help her. Also, said they won't let her "do" anything.
i don't know how much nursing homes or skilled care costs, she does have a fair amount of money and some investments.
I am at a loss and don't know what to do.