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I'm taking care of my mother in our home and it is very frustrating and difficult. Luckily, I'm not working at the moment but my husband is...she can be demanding and paranoid...things she can't find she accuses us of stealing...help!

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Melody, how old is Mom? How long has she been living with you?

Paranoia is common in dementia. People who have this kind of paranoia hide things to keep them safe. Then they don't remember that they hid them, and feel sure that their paranoia is justified and someone stole their possessions. This is not fun! Try your best not to take it personally. If Mom were in her right mind she'd know that you wouldn't steal from here. Don't argue with her about it. Be sympathetic. "Oh Mom, I am so sorry that your nice cosmetic bag is missing. It is useful as well as pretty and I'm sure you miss it. I will help you look for it. If we can't find it today or tomorrow, let's go to Walgreens and get a new one." Arguing just makes the situation worse.

Taking care of someone with dementia can be very frustrating and difficult, especially when there is paranoia. It often helps to realize it is the disease causing this behavior. Learning about the disease and what to expect can also help.
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I sure do understand what you are saying. .Dementia makes a loved one turn into someone else or become worse than they were. My mom who is living with me is 96 and beginning dementia and if she can't find something she thinks someone in our home took it too. She asks the same questions over and over and over again. I did try to get a small dry erase board to put beside her place at the table and she writes the date on it each morning and I tell here what we need to do on that day and then she writes it down. That has helped, in that area, at least and hopefully will be helpful to you. Thank you for sharing some of your life with us.
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Welcome, Melody. It sounds like your mother has dementia. Is it Alzheimer's? Taking care of someone with dementia can be frustrating. Tell us a bit more about what is going on. People here will probably understand exactly what you're going through.
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