Well I have been burned out for a while as I have been the SOLE...n I mean SOLE (no family and new state) caregiver for my mom for 8 years... What I want to say today has to do with when I do TRY to talk to friends about how hard emotionally this is and how desperate I am for a break two things happen:
1. The typical response is: Oh i know excatly what u mean, my kids drain me with their shenanigins, etc.... Then I have to point out but they are kids being kids growing and learning, bringing joy n happiness into your life....Imagine the opposite, There is no joy in the decline of your loved one...I am slowly being tortured by watching my Mother dissintergrate in front of me, and there is nothing I can do to help her....besides doing the best I can to care for her. My only Joy is that I am there for her but it is double edged cuz I gave up everything in my life to do that...can't work or socialize, etc....
2. They offer to help.....I have been told on several occasions "would love to help give me a break, just let them know and they will take mom for a day" But everytime I am in need, they back out! I did actually do it once and it turned into a nitemare....they were calling me couple hours in saying had to come get her cuz something came up and they gotta go, was total BS...if u knew the details, Stressed me out so bad, had to cancel all my plans n go get her! So I haven't tried again!
Thanks for the vent!!!