Financial nightmares!

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I have been caring for MIL for four years, in her senior living facility, then in my home and now in SNF. When she lived with me and my husband the state paid me $1000.00 per month for 24 hour care saving them about $6000.00. She was admitted to the hospital in March with heart failure ( again) and never recovered enough to come home so I was out of work. I claimed unemployment but now that has run out so I'm out $800.00 per month. My husband was a self employed contractor so money was never steady and we got behind in all our bills and Mom let us use her money to help keep our home and keep the utilities on. Now we owe the facility $4000.00 for her care and we just don't have it. My husband now has steady employment with a company so it will get better and I am looking for full time employment but being out of the workforce caring for Mom really hurts my job hunting! I don't know how much longer I can keep fighting to save what we have before I break down. Why should we have to lose everything to care for our loved ones? I am from England and this would NEVER happen! Our elderly deserve to be cared for without the guilt of ruining the lives of their families. Just saying...


Just curious why you have to pay for your mother's care? Or was she already in the nursing home and she gave you money for your home and your bills instead of using the money on her own care?

Did you mother ever contributed to the U.S. social security/Medicare or any form of taxes, since you are from the UK, then I assume so is your Mother? If not, then she probably will be on Medicaid which is paid for by all us working tax payers, including yourself since you are working here.

It would be grand if we could change the system for everyone to have free care, but that won't be happening any time soon. So we need to deal with the system as it sits. Chances of our Congress asking the voters to agree to up our income taxes and State taxes by double or triple, would never happen.
If the state paid you 1K a month for being able to caregiving your MIL @ your home consider yourself extremely fortunate.

Most caregiving is the US is done by family for free. You worked the system somehow & got paid a pretty $250 a week to caregive for family in your home and now have a documentable skill as a caregiver - you could probably easily find a job being a paid caregiver to another elder & help another family.

And pay off the debt to the NH.
Is the 4K owed to the NH a transfer penalty from Medicaid due to the $$ which is considered gifting by MIL to you all??
Drat!...should read " pretty standard $ 10 hr for 25 hrs of caregiving for $250 a week"
Jackyo if MIl is also from the UK she should be enitled to some kind of pension from there so you need to apply for that for her.
As far as work is concerned you could privately advertise your skills or train as a CNA.
You can take a course which lasts about 5 weeks and pay for this yourself with student loans. The alternative is to work in a hospital or nursing home that will train you on the job and you can take the same exams to become a CNA. it is a hard physical job but there is always wmployment available. Another possibility is to train as a Phlebobamist which you can do in a community college and again with student loans. I believe it is a 45 hour course. that is if you have steady hands good eyesight and like the idea of sticking needles into peoples viens. personally i would choose that over CNA as it is easier on the body and in my view less stressful once you get the hang of it. pays better too but fewer jobs. You might be able to get free training as you are unemployed which would open a lot of doors from hairdresser to car mechanic etc. trades people do earn good money.
If your mother is a former citizen of England, is there a possibility that she had some sort of social security from there??? I found out my partner being in the war for another country DID. It was a Godsend. It is not a lot, but it sure does buy the groceries.
WE have home health here. Why not call your local home health and see if you can get a job there. They are ALWAYS looking for help ALWAYS
I don't know how you got paid???? We have to use up all of our money before the state will ever step in. PERIOD. And, I cannot afford to loose all our money as I will need to survive after he passes.

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