Finally the help that I needed so bad.
I'm pleased to say that after 3 years of caregiving my sister finally stepped up. It had got to the point that I really though I was going to have a nervous break down. Not only do I have Mom but I have a special needs step son that lives with us. This is so embarrassing to admit but 3 years of non stop caregiving, trying to work a demanding full time job and my husband travels about 18 days out of the month had taken it's toll on me. I felt like I could not go on and at the time wondered if I really wanted to. I love my family very much but everyone needs help and my immediate family was unwilling to help at all, I have a sister and a niece. I never dreamed that they would walk away but they did, same that I read quite often on this site, they just walked away and had every excuse under the book not to help, most were just so uncaring. I don't know what happened but it came at the time that I felt that I could not go on anymore. I had actually disowned everyone in my immediate family, I blocked them all from Facebook, blocked my phone and text and told them that if they wanted to speak to me that they could email me but as far as I was concerned they were no longer a part of my life. They of course had my husbands phone number and the caregivers phone number in case they decided to call Mom which was not often at all.
My sister finally emailed that she could take Mom for the summer to give me a break. I was shocked and leery but at the time even thought there were many tears taking her to the airport I knew it was best, I did not feel like I was doing any good for Mom at that point, I had become so burnt that I really did not leave the house except to go to work, I sought out the help of a doctor and talked to a professional, it really did not help much, I knew what was wrong and knew it was something that I had to learn to live with. Not only was it the depression of watching my Mom fade away and change but it was the thought that My very own sister and niece had turned there back on us. Mom has now been with my sister for about a month and they are having a good time, she see's that mom is like a little girl and seems to have changed her whole attitude. I'm so glad, I did think often that she would never forgiver herself the day something did happen to mom. I do miss my Mother but again I do also know that when she returns I will be a much better person mentally to take care of her. My step son also left for his grandma's for the summer he goes every year. You can only imagine the freedom that I feel but along with the freedom I sometimes feel guilt thinking that I could not hold up any longer. the part that amazed me was after having mom for one week my sister calls and tells me how she has always been there for me??? She actually told me, "I know we will fight, we always have, it won't be the last time because we are so different" which is very true. then she went on to say that no matter what, she is always there to help me and mom and she loves me.
As bad as it sounds it was very hard to keep my mouth shut but I did to keep the peace, after all the terrible things that were said I guess people think that after a week its all forgotten? Well I have decided that its not worth it to fight, I'm just glad that she came to her senses and is taking time with my Mother.