I have finally lost it... next step is just to pick up and leave.
from my entire life and never look back. I told my entire family tonight as well as the neighbors and neighbors kids heard me yell that Im going to just sit in the middle of the street because I dont give a damn!! Can I say damn? Edit if I cant. My grandpa is having a bad night again and cant be left alone but yet my son is being extremely violent and cant be handled by my dad and my son refuses to come with me and if he did like he has before in his state, he does the same at grandpas and grandpa cant hack it.
My grandpa says I do a lot for him but under the same breath got mad because I wouldnt cancel something imp for my dad in the morning to go shopping with him and another person. And I have to do more for him and cancel things for him which I have!!! So I got into a fight with my dad because I cancelled on him( its for him to sign me on his account to pay bills in case hes unconscious after surgery like he usually is for a few days or just added time in there so I can go with grandpa. So my son is saying he doesnt know if hes going back to school again tomorrow I know hes playing hooky for whatever reason and they sent him home today and I cant take him shopping really? My son ha! My dad cant hack it with him either so grandpa is mad yet again I might have to not go. Plus I had to leave grandpas again with him not doing well to handle my son. Im here with my sons extreme violence and mouth while my grandpa sits by himself on a bad night.
Everyone needs me all at once, (4 people, two of which are seniors and ill, my two kids both issues but son is more then one kids in his actions... still issues with aunt, issues with neighbors, issues with sis, my last remaining friends have now ditched me because I cant talk to them ...) two houses and Im trying to work? Omg I cant even look because I been in the middle of apps and boom!!! Have to go!!! I hate shopping, I hate answering my phone, hate leaving the house frankly I hate trying to pretend everything is great. Im told Im not enough enough for any of them...
I shouldn't complain, people have it worse and they work but literally every 5 minutes or at the same time everyone needs me and there's tantrums from everyone if I don't!!! Every last thing is a fight or putdown......I am their life, have no life, Im trying different things to be positive like that weird question post yesterday I put here.. but Im tired of this all. I have no patience anymore either I have had it!!!!
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I can relate to the hate of shopping.... hate to answer the phone... and hate leaving the house.... for me, throw in hate to drive.... at times I want to be a hermit and be able to burrow underground between my house and the office.
You need a 5-year plan.... ok, let's make a 1-year plan. Grandpa might like a change of scenery, check out nice retirement homes... look at all the new friends he would make.... see what funds are available, or check with Medicaid.
For your Dad, how serious is the surgery [I know all surgery is serious] but the reason for the surgery. Will he bounce back quickly? He should be at the top of your list right now. Ignore everyone else.... yeah, I know, easier said than done.
Your son, what is the plan for him? Can the county put him into a school where he would have no choice but to be in class every day? Good for him, good for you.
Now for you.... look for outside work, it will make you feel sane again, and give you a reason to get up in the morning. Plus, work is a good excuse to use for not having time to go shopping :)
You can continue to love and care for them, you just do not have enough time in the day to care for 5 people. It is impossible
pamzimmrrt-Yes, dad, gpa, 8 year old son, 14 year old daughter, adult sis with issues etc. If my family was not dysfunctional it would be a little easier I think? My kids father .. well.. let me be nice and just say he comes once in a while. Blames me for all but yet says im a good mom.
Thank you both
pamstegman-my son has been this way since he was a year and half old. but issues while pregnant, up 4 times a night as a baby, he was a preemie by 4 weeks, past speech issues, colic, leading to several hour tantrums, biting,violence, colors on walls ( even now) damage, threatens to kill when hes mad.. but whens he gets calm and hes happy go lucky like a light switch.. hes the most funny lovable, smart kid and hes amazing! Idk pam, I will look up Ativan tonight. Hes on clonidine which he sometimes takes and adhd patch daytrana ( doing nothing that mg). Im looking for a Behavior specialist too. I have two kids but I say I have three or more because my son can really be like two or three kids in one. Im sorry I dont make senses I get mad and just type.
Idk if I really have a lot on my plate is why I was asking what you all thought because I dont work and I feel like a fool when I complain to those who work and caregive for more then one person. Im just lost
Thank you both
You cannot be all things to all people. People are going to be disappointed. They'll try what they've always tried with you . . . they'll lay on some guilt; then more guilt. 'Til they realize it's not working like it used to.
It's up to you, Me1000. You either control yourself or all the rest of them will do it for you. ;)
You have way too much on your plate, and you have to consider what to give up. Grandpa could probably be handled by the VA. Dad may need inpatient Hospice. Your three kids are your priority, everyone else is going to have other solutions. You are only one person, you have to know your limitations or you don't survive.