I have finally lost it... next step is just to pick up and leave.
from my entire life and never look back. I told my entire family tonight as well as the neighbors and neighbors kids heard me yell that Im going to just sit in the middle of the street because I dont give a damn!! Can I say damn? Edit if I cant. My grandpa is having a bad night again and cant be left alone but yet my son is being extremely violent and cant be handled by my dad and my son refuses to come with me and if he did like he has before in his state, he does the same at grandpas and grandpa cant hack it.
My grandpa says I do a lot for him but under the same breath got mad because I wouldnt cancel something imp for my dad in the morning to go shopping with him and another person. And I have to do more for him and cancel things for him which I have!!! So I got into a fight with my dad because I cancelled on him( its for him to sign me on his account to pay bills in case hes unconscious after surgery like he usually is for a few days or just added time in there so I can go with grandpa. So my son is saying he doesnt know if hes going back to school again tomorrow I know hes playing hooky for whatever reason and they sent him home today and I cant take him shopping really? My son ha! My dad cant hack it with him either so grandpa is mad yet again I might have to not go. Plus I had to leave grandpas again with him not doing well to handle my son. Im here with my sons extreme violence and mouth while my grandpa sits by himself on a bad night.
Everyone needs me all at once, (4 people, two of which are seniors and ill, my two kids both issues but son is more then one kids in his actions... still issues with aunt, issues with neighbors, issues with sis, my last remaining friends have now ditched me because I cant talk to them ...) two houses and Im trying to work? Omg I cant even look because I been in the middle of apps and boom!!! Have to go!!! I hate shopping, I hate answering my phone, hate leaving the house frankly I hate trying to pretend everything is great. Im told Im not enough enough for any of them...
I shouldn't complain, people have it worse and they work but literally every 5 minutes or at the same time everyone needs me and there's tantrums from everyone if I don't!!! Every last thing is a fight or putdown......I am their life, have no life, Im trying different things to be positive like that weird question post yesterday I put here.. but Im tired of this all. I have no patience anymore either I have had it!!!!