Female, only child caregivers of narcissistic Mothers.

Ty so much....

I totally agree with all of u,,, when dad was alive and i was tending to him, all she did was yell, dad passed last Jan, 2015 from alzheimers,, now i am be yelled at constantly....maybe it was their up bringing, or they are just scared,, i'm not sure yet, i am hanging in there, please try to also..

Hello, get it my mom is .....too. i am the scapegoat. The one with feelings...but also the one with a sound mind...my sister is the golden child....does no wrong....she came to visit my mom who had cancer last year. My mom and i were looking foward to her visit. My mom for support and me for relief. She was so selfish. She critisized my moms house, constantly complained that she needed to see friends and family . We were shocked...she was not their too offer my mom support... for the first time my mom said remain friends with her but keep ur distance. Wow a little aknowledgement. A month later my mom said i feel so sorry ffor her...she is such an unhappy person....true butfeeling sorry for her is how she became the narcissis she is....so keep feeding the narcissist... i will keeping caring for you while u tell me i never do enough. ....i had a bithday party for her...me my spouse and her male friend...she told me i did it cause i want to show off.....who is going to celebrate her 79th birthday with her if i dont?????theres my delema... if i had know what nacissism was 30 years ago, i would have skipped town...i cant do that when she is 79..... i love her and can see so clearly her emotional disability..... i obviosly found out i was codependent later.... i dont think i am anymore... only to the extent i cant leave my 79 year old mom who loves me the best way she can...abusive but she does not know better...everyday of my life she is complaining!!!!! Hope someone understands...god bless

Today at the age of 44 I saw a therapist about my narcissist mother. I'm an only child. She moved me away from my entire family. I grew up constantly feeling responsible for her well being which resulted in a lot of guilt that turned into years of anxiety. I still suffer from anxiety but think with therapy, I may shed some. I can't believe I waited so long to go to therapy, but it took me a while to be able to see who she really was. The therapist said it takes only children longer because we have no one to bounce things off of or to go through it with. It's hard to explain to someone just how bad it is because they never portray themselves for who they really are. Instead of feeling guilty for going no contact, I felt like a survivor who got dealt a bad deck of parent cards but am going to sort out the rest of my adult years. It's a very unnatural thing to not have contact or low contact with a parent, which is why I got help.

I'm an only child and my mother has been an A1 narcissist all her life. With Parkinsons, stroke and dementia, I cared for her for four hellish years. She's been in a nursing home for 18 months yet she's still sucking the life out of me. For my own health and sanity I don't propose to visit her often any more, if at all. I'm taking my life back with both hands!

Laura, you pretty much nailed it. You walk away. Over and over and over again. And sometimes, if it's at all possible, you don't come back for awhile.

I can't express how important breaks, many, many breaks, really are to care givers. Especially for those taking care of the...less than joyful...elderly.

Oh my goodness there are other people like me with a ma who is just plain mean! she is only keeping my dad alive (he is in late stage alzheimers) because of money. she is selfish, and only thinks of herself. I have never gotten a please or thank u, and i do everything.. i have a twin 5 min away and she doesnt come over, but ma treats her like a queen. My brother is about 20 minutes away and havent seen him in a while.........My ma always brings my past up, or gossips about me or my grown children,,,,,,,,Anxiety medicine is a must,, not because of my dad, because of her,,, i know she has ruined me for thinking clearly, but lately i have just walked away from her when she starts........i have no other idea what to do?

Tex, I am the only adopted daughter of a narcissist mother, who was herself an only child. I should probably have gotten a therapist a long time ago.

I'm too d**n worn out...and that tells you something...to get into the millions of reasons why, after having dealt with my mom for so long and now dealing with her death, my brain has been reduced to a confusing puddle of mental soup.

What happens, in a nutshell, Tex, when you deal with a narcissist for many years, and God help you, if you become their care givers for many more, your spirit gets poisoned. Slowly but surely.

I feel like I'm in the middle of a detox session trying to get rid of it and over it all.

A narcissist can, and will, destroy you. It's as simple as that. You constantly have to be on guard against them and their head games and other assorted manipulations. After so many years of dealing with that kind of personality bleeding my dry, then all the stresses of being my mom's care taker bleeding me on all levels, I'm a mental train wreck.

I didn't get this way overnight. I won't recover overnight either. One day at a time. That's become my mantra.