Feelings of guilt, stress, anxiety, depression, etc. about placing Mom in a nursing home because she needs 24/7 care.
I have been a caregiver to my mother for the last 5 years while she lived on her own. Her health began to decline rapidly in the last year and requires more care medically and physically. She fell recently due to a medicine she took that made her unstable. She was in the hospital for a week and now in rehab in a nursing home facility. She has stage 4 emphysema and congestive heart failure and was not thought to make it this long but she is a fighter. She is on oxygen 24/7 and that is what is keeping her alive basically. Without it her oxygen drops down to the 60s and 70s. Just talking sometimes causes her distress. My brothers and I feel she is safer in a nursing home setting because she is getting all the proper treatment she needs and is not smoking. Yes, she smoked a pack or more a day until she went into the hospital and just started hospice before she fell. Her mind is still good but her body is failing. I have thought long and hard about her coming to live with me and my family but I don't think it will work without major construction to our house and her needing round the clock care. She wants to go home but it is not safe. For the first time I feel some sense of peace that she is receiving the proper care she needs medically and physically but we do not have the power to keep her there. I am only 10 minutes from the nursing home and her apartment where she lives before she fell. I have been visiting her 5 or 6 days a week for 3 or 4 hours a day. I cry a lot because I don't know how I am going to cope if she comes home and I am torn about placing her in a nursing home even though I have gotten to know the place and It seems they take good care of the residents. Women especially are supposed to be everything all at once right, wife, mother, daughter, daughter in law, sister, sister in law, friend, organizer, planner, housekeeper, cook, etc. and we are supposed to balance it all and be happy. But, when you cannot be all that to the fullest we crash and I guess that is where I am right now. Sorry for the rambling. I guess I needed to vent.