Feeling so much guilt and depressed
I have just had to put both my parents in assisted living/memory care. My mom has Dementia and my dad has Parkinson’s. She refused to let anyone aid in his care, even going so far as hitting a nurse for trying to help them. She refused to let my dad call me to help him, as well as other family members. After my dad being hospitalized from a fall almost a week, refusing rehab, sending back a hoyer lift, refusing a hospice bed, etc., we were told by an RN with the home health agency we had two days to start pursuing guardianship to get her out of the home or she would take other measures. We were able to persuade my dad to go to rehab and my mom agreed to also go to “help” him. After hitting 4 nurses, the dr sent her to Geri psychiatrics for 14 days. We moved my dad first and had no problems until we moved my mom there. Now he is calling me saying they want to go back like it was before at home. It breaks my heart but drs have told us they can’t come back home safely. I feel like it is my mom more so than my dad. She nags at him continuously and gets him so frustrated. Do we cave to their wishes or leave them there? Do we separate them because of her “jealousy/possession? They want to be together and have been married 65 years but can’t get along when they’re together. We don’t think they’ll live long if separated but just don’t know what to do. When he was home he’d say mother doesn’t help me. I just don’t know what to do. This is breaking my heart.