Feeling so guilty!
I feel so guilty. I am so stressed being around Mom, I can't wait to leave, I don't want to spend more than 1/2 hour with her, and I hate myself for feeling this way. Mom is in her late 90's and is in independent living (physically she is pretty good, can get around, do the basic self care, but her dementia is worse every day and she desperately needs monitoring and assistance mentally but refuses to move). We have no choice but to take turns looking in on her and do everything for her, laundry, cleaning, shopping, finances, etc. Her memory is 1 minute long, she is almost deaf, even with hearing aids so we have to scream, she no longer carries on a conversation, only talks about a few things all of them negative, over and over and over, she's a cat on a hot tin roof, gets confused all the time and is stubborn as an ox and full of self pity. This has been going on for years, and it seems it will go on for years more. I hope God understands I can't help feeling stressed and tired of living in this frustrating boring re-run like an endless loop. I can't help it, I just can't stand to be around her for very long any more without wishing I was anywhere else. Am I a bad person?