Anytime we plan a few day vacation we wait till 2 days before to tell my deaf FIL. He's 91 and lives in his own apartment. Since my husband is his whole world (only one who can communicate with him) my husband almost holds his breath while we are gone and really does not have a good time. Sometimes I think my FIL creates an illness to prevent us from going, like picking his nose till it bleeds so bad it doesn't stop and ends up in the ER. It happened, but dr said it was his meds. Interesting timing for my FIL, thus not leaving for us. So as the DIL I have mixed feelings, mostly guilty.