Feeling bad, helpless and tearful.
My dad walked into the AL facility almost normal, other than his early stage of dementia, 18 months ago. Today, he can hardly sit up straight, doubles over in his 'school' desk-chair with his head on the 'desk' and refuses to sit up, insisting he is alright and shouts when you ask him to sit up straight. He is in motion all the time in an up and down movement and refuses any assistance. We ask if he has pain and he says he is fine. He calls after his mom, who passed on 50 years ago and my late brother 7 years ago. He says he wants to go home. We are not sure where that is, as he moved out of his own home 8 years prior to the nursing facility. He lived with my sister during those years, but hates visiting her and wants to leave after half an hour. He also tells us to go after 5 minutes when we visit him.
It is so very hard seeing him like this after only 18 months. He has digressed to the extent of someone we hardly know and I have started to blame the facility for asking us to get a certain medication he was on and we have stopped, knowing that it has these side-effects on the muscles and bones. His feet has turned dark blue and his doctor says , its poor circulation, which I agree with as he doesn't walk enough. He is a diabetic and he meals are simple, but it upsets us horribly when in so short a time he could go from our hero to zero. His quick deterioration is hard to cope with. He is 87 years old.
We, my sister and I end up in tears in the car and feel helpless and bad.