I feel like the black sheep.

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I despise my sister and my father at this moment, my sister does nothing and gets paid to do it, while they live here in my house I do everything and get nothing but aggravation from my father, who tries to tell me what to do all the time,he is like living with Marie from everybody loves Raymond, if anyone knows that show they will know what I'm talking about, I am so sick of my life, I do everything for them and they dote over my sister, all my father and I do is argue now, and I've just about had it, I feel like just forgetting it and letting them take care of themselves, they won't be around for long if I do that, but I am getting to the point that I am going to have a nervous breakdown and then they will be on their own anyway. I sometimes think about driving into a tree to just end it all.

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Hi if you are so stressed and need a break please take it now walk away for a couple of days if you have enough time and money go to a motel and watch everybody loves Raymond just kidding I feel for you poor thing I know what it feels like when your going to have a nervous breakdown and you are so tired and depressed frustrated, angry, crying everything is overall overwhelming please do for you then when you come back just stop doing most of the daily routine and jobs walk a way seriously sending hugs and love just ignore your Dad when he argues just agree with him then see eho he will be nicer too.
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Thank you ConnieSO for your wise and caring words. Someone who has been in our shoes nearly always has the best advice to give.
Take care,
Carol
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When I first began care for my grams, the garbage left over from my step-mother permeated this household. I heard sarcasm relating her treatment of me. My grams has held on to much of the garbage, despite having always been there for me through the years.

She is now 96, her cognitive function is not terrific. But I can tell you the greatest hurdle she has had to overcome is the loss of independence. The greatest hurdle for me has been healing those wounds of being the "black sheep" of the family.

It is a process. One that I learned how to allow healing, feel what is felt, discuss the transition of her life with my grams. And I have had to ask for help from her sons. I have had my fair share of temper tantrums and tears.

My grams and I are so much alike it is terrifying. I see myself in her and vice versa. It is something we are coming to terms with.

I could not do it without being honest with myself and her, as well as her sons. I had to learn to allow my emotions and to let others have theirs. This is not a done deal. I am still in the process.

All I can say is be honest with self first, claim your life. Then get honest with them. I leave the room when grams starts in. I refuse to participate. It takes great effort and owning my feelings.

I hope you find your way, it is not easy. I had to let go of previous family members including my sons, because they are hateful and toxic. I grieved the loss and put them in God's hands. They have a choice and so do I. They made their's.

Bless you.
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Feeling alone in a crowd is awful and when the crowd is in your home it is worse. They may be family but you need help as much as they do.

True, having them in your home is making this tough. However, it's also true that you have to start the changes. They are freeloading on you and treating you poorly. There's no reason that anyone should have to put up with that.

If your father really needs to be taken care of you can call social services and talk to them about his needs. If your sister is that ill, then she also needs care from social services.

Mostly, I think that you need support to start taking the action you need to free yourself from this bondage. Do you have a church or other group where you can talk to a leader about local agencies that can help you take the steps to change this situation? If not, call social services for yourself or call the local hotline and tell them you are desperate. They may be able to start the ball rolling.

You aren't a weak person. We all find ourselves overwhelmed at times. That's when we need support. Please try these agencies and find someone local who will listen to you about this situation and help you take steps to change it.

Please keep us posted as you travel the journey. We're here to cheer you on.
Carol
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Only you can make the necessary changes! Better get busy and enjoy your life!
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It your house YOUR rules.. Tell them to respect you OR move out..
Why does your sister live with you? And who pays her?
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