Feel like I'm suffocating.
My grandma passed away two years ago. She took care of my grandfather. Waited on his every whim. He did not have dementia at this point. When he was younger he went out and did things. Somewhere during aging he stopped. Needed to be in bed by 8pm which has decreased to 6pm. He would get angry when my grandma went out and did things. He acts childish and will not speak to you when you've made him angry. He doesn't do anything for himself. Meals? If no one is awake to cook for him he leaves and buys fast food. He still drives against our wishes. We are waiting to see what the Dr. says on his driving. He is capable of cooking or making cereal in the morning. He is capable of doing his laundry. He is capable of cleaning his room. He sits all day and asks a billion questions about things and wants everything done when he says. He's obsessed with his money. Always wants to know what's in his bank account. As he still drives he makes impulse purchases. He does not take care of his bills but is still in charge of his money. Often times we need to discuss in over abundance of why he can't spend money on something. My mother is the one who is with him the most since I work out of home. She feels like she's trapped in the house. She baby sits and has a room specifically for the kids. He will come in and ask her to make phone calls ask why a paper says something ask her to check his balance etc. Just bombards her all the time with questions and she needs her space. When she leaves he throws a fit because she wants to go alone and he guilt trips everyone. We don't want to get angry and stuff because we know sometimes he can't control it. He has always been short with females in general. The male kids and grandsons do no wrong though they have had issues with the law and other things. Daughter and granddaughters who haven't had any issues get the short end of the stick. He happens to be living with the daughter and three granddaughters. We can't speak without him getting defensive and saying we are gaming up on him or him swearing at us or telling us to shut up. We have to beg my uncle's to help out with his Dr. appointments and we feel like we shouldn't have to, it's their father. He recently started attending a senior daycare, only he leaves right after lunch and only goes three times a week. We don't know how to keep our sanity without being rude or mean or causing him to feel negatively.