I was always a "pull up by my bootstraps" kind of girl. I am having to do that alot lately, but after reading many of your posts, I am feeling more greatful than I was before. I try to keep a positive attitude, but sometimes it just wears on you - as you all know. I have a wonderful supportive husband, I have 6 helpful children (5 still at home), they always step up when I need them - whether I am spending 17 hours a day at the hospital or just doing the weekly errands with Granny or running the household. Four years ago, we moved my grandmother to an assisted living 1/2 mile from our home. She started in a nursing home and as she got healthlier we moved. These were her decisions and she is a joy to care for. She was diagnosed with breast cancer in June and has had it removed and has decided not to take radiation, but will take Arimidex to block estrogen.
This has been a turning point for me. I am feeling overwhelmed and sad and very alone these days. Both of Granny's daughter's live in other states and my mom helps when they come - usually for a month at a time. I do take that time for my family and try to catch up on stuff, but I am still the "main caregiver" and the relationships change and that is always stressful. But I am greatful.
I feel guilt when I am away from home, although my family understands the need and never complains. I fight anger some days that this all falls on me. Right now I am just feeling very alone and that is what brought me to this sight. You can try to explain to your husband, your kids, your mom, your friend - but unless they are involved in the daily care and decision making - they just don't get it. Even when my mom spends a month - it is like vacation with Granny - not the daily routine.
Thanks for being here.