My father is 85 years old, lives alone in an isolated area and drinks.

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There's a lady who is half his age who behaves like trailor trash. She lost her daughters, can't hold a job (apparently every man wants her for sex) does drugs, and lives with a 60 year old man. She comes around when she needs money, a car, clothes, etc. My father feels sorry for her, buys into her victim stories and gives her money all the time. I live an hour and a half away and I don't know what to do.
Apparently this has been going on for years. When she doesn't get what she wants, she hangs up on him or is rude to him. The man she lives with will drive her over to my Dad's and wait outside for this lady, while she gets what she wants. My Dad has given the man money as well. He's getting taken advantage of. Is there anything I can do?


I think you have to be physically present to do anything about it. It sounds as if these people are his "friends".
Notify the police
You could report this to Adult Protection Services, but if Dad is in his "right mind" and is doing this of his own free will, I don't see what they could do.

dont know if he is in a large or small area; if small, (or big w community policing program) they are probably well aware of miss thang. If so, they may be willing to talk to dad to let him know she is trouble. Many times older people are afraid of confrontation, so go along w this kind of stuff. The police may give him some ideas, mr smith-call us if she asks you for money, etc. Have u had a similar talk w dad? Is there a neighbor who could look out for dad a little more if asked? Some areas have friendly visiting programs-prescreened volunteers visit onece a week or so. Could u afford to pay a well checked (background/references/and known by pastor, friend etc) paraprofessional provide some companion services? Do u have any control over ur dads finances? Could u pay his bills and agree on a modest allowance? Might that cut down on what he spends, I mean wastes, on her? What is the extent and duration of drinking history? Just some thoughts to consider. Must feel frustrating. My SIL had a neighbor selling drugs, she cleverly put up a fake sweeping camera w a little red light ($15) and the dealing neighbors moved on pretty quickly-seems it made the buyers uneasy- clever and cheap; might help ur dad! Good luck!
Well, as you live so far from Dad there isn't much I can think of to do. He is lonely, easily taken advantage of. Think of having him relocate to a 'retirement' home where he would have more interaction and some supervision.
These are the kinds of risks that cause us to add up the justification for more protective environments as they age. They do get more vulnerable. Does he still have other friends. If he truly is isolated and he is telling you his woes, he probably is ready to be invited to live closer to you.

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