My father is living with us and I'm feeling trapped.
I'm feeling trapped. My father has had 2 strokes and has been diagnosed with mild cognitive impairment/vascular dementia. His wife left him a year and a half ago, at which point, we discovered he had no savings or means of living on his own. He asked to move in with my then fiancé, now husband, and myself, so we left our downtown apartment for a bungalow in the suburbs that would accommodate all of us. My father lives in the basement, at his insistence, with his dog. He has a separate entry and exit, but does not go out often. He has no kitchen in the basement, so he has created a makeshift kitchenette with a mini fridge and microwave. His driver's license has been revoked and he does not have many (if any) friends. He has many challenges with lower body mobility, he is likely suffering from undiagnosed depression, and he has a terrible temper. I prepare many of his meals, since he would order massive amounts of take-out if permitted, and it puts a strain on his type-2 diabetes. Almost all chores fall to my husband and I, with the exception of those performed by a homemaker who comes for 2 hours once every two weeks, which is all we seem to qualify for. My father makes multiple demands a day, becoming increasingly anxious if they are not answered immediately. We have very little time to ourselves and are constantly exhausted. My father doesn't have money to go to a retirement community, he is not in a position where he would easily qualify for long-term care, on top of that he is highly resistant to other living arrangements, but I'm nearly at the end of my rope. I didn't want this, but he is my father and I have felt there are no other options and I won't see him poorly taken care of, regardless of how frustrated and angry I can become with the situation. I think a lot of this is venting, but any help or advice on finding balance on a budget, getting some alone time for my spouse and myself, and perhaps, finding alternate forms of care for my dad, would be more than welcome. Little extra context, we are both in our early 30's and live in Ontario, Canada.