Father in Hospice, and I feel alone in this whole process. Any advice?
My father is currently in hospice at home living with his ex-wife and my brother. Without putting all my families personal business out there, let's just say, having pain medication easily available to them all is not ideal. I work full-time and go to school, so I am unable to have him live with me and take care of him. My mother, his ex-wife, has hired a CNA to help him during the day while she is at work, then she takes over when home from work. I go down when I'm not in school or work to help as much as I can, however I can't be there 24/7. My father is extremely aggressive. He has bit, pinched and hit my mother. He even went so far as to rip his catheter out. He screams at the top of his lungs at night, tries to jump out of bed and gets extremely violent with everyone when you try to get him to sit back down. He's prescribed Ativan and Haloperidol but these do nothing at night time. We've called Hospice about all of this and they just say to soothe him. I get the impression they don't really understand how aggravated he gets. One nurse came by the other day, and my father was moving around in bed and pulling on the sheets a little. The nurse said that he was aggravated and to watch her soothe him... THAT was not aggravated. I told her that was just his normal demeanor. I don't know what to do, and honestly I don't know what options there really are. I guess I just need someone to hear this and maybe they've experienced the same thing? So many people told me that the Hospice nurses were great for support, but that is not my case. I feel like I've been fighting everyone since he was admitted to the hospital for a stroke. I had to fight the doctors to talk to me, the nurses would leave him hanging off his bed with his medicine machine dinging, I had to get the palliative team together for answers, and I thought once I got to talk to hospice this wouldn't be so difficult. I was so wrong!