Father has chosen to die.
My widowed 87-year-old father was stricken with serious pneumonia earlier this year. I traveled 1,500 miles and stayed for a month to see him through hospitalization and rehab. He seemed to recover, yet rather than choosing to continue rehab, he demanded to be released to hospice care. He has long held a desire to choose his time and mode of death through hospice, which admitted him under somewhat false circumstances. He has difficulty swallowing and refused any feeding tube, so he has virtually stopped eating, which does create a terminal condition.. During my recent stay and afterwards by phone, he has been abusive and mean and judgmental of me, the only family member left (there is another daughter lives nearby, but she refuses to be involved). I feel terrorized by his "death drama," scared of being expected to drop my life and be with him whenever he commands and let myself suffer more abuse. I feel guilty for wishing it were over and angry about the abuse I suffered all my life from this sometimes kind but often very mean parent.