Families are sometimes like Yugoslavia.

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It occurs to me that some families are like the former Yugoslavia. Remember the Sarajevo Olympics? The sportscasters did features about the various ethnic groups living in harmony and peace. With the fall of the dictator Tito everything came unglued. Ethnic tensions, old hurts and hates surfaced and turned into brutal war. Recognize this dynamic in your family? Dominating parent, unhappy children unable to express what they really feel, parent becomes incapacitated or dies, sibling discord erupts in a big way. I was just wondering.


Well lets see...dad was the glue that held the family together, he dies and dominant narcissistic verbal abuser mother takes over, sibling won't participate in caregiving says me and my adult kids can do it all, had enough of mom's crap and dared to confront her, she throws us out, disowns us, writes us out of her will, sister takes over as POA and executor, royally screws it up, I'm getting sued...that about covers it. Yep, I think I actually DO recognize it, sonswife.
I don't know why, but I always threaten to ship my misbehaving daughter to the former Yugoslavia.

I noticed at work that when we had a boss we hated, the workers stuck together and supported each other. When a nicer new boss arrived, there was less of a team feeling, because we no longer had a common enemy.
Oh yes...for sure.

I sometimes wonder if, after my mom is gone, if that will be the end of the rest of the family, at least her descendants, having any contact with me. I will leave it up to them for many reasons I won't go into, here...but I will live in the same house and probably will not sell it in my lifetime so it will be in their court. If they want to keep in touch with me, they will know how to do so. And if they don't keep in touch, I will know it is because they didn't want to, since I won't be missing in action or hard to find.

Which is kind of good, at least from my viewpoint...no one has to make awkward excuses or make up reasons why or why not. They can just stay away or keep in touch as each of them wishes. I am game either way. It would be nice if they consider me family after mom's gone...but if they don't...I won't be feeling anything new that I have not felt all my life, already.
a death in a family must really get emotions roiled cause in the last 2 years one of our local funeral homes had had multiple family fights and one instance of a weapon being brandished. our town IS full of skip tooth inbreds but i suppose its the same everywhere. the funeral home has hired goons now for security.
I heard something once sed a death in the family will either bring you closer or tear you apart! People can become so viscious over petty things like control, favoritism and the all mighty money!!! makes me want to just throw up!
Ok I have to laff "skip tooth inbreds" you are a hoot hardass....I was looking for a descriptive term for my community...hillbilly crackheads is what came to mind first but then I don't dare use it, lol...as I dislike being judgmental...but sometimes you just gotta call a spade a spade!.

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