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Hi guys, in need of help, I am a 28 year old caregiver and currently working with a pretty difficult case. I take care of an 82 years old lady, very high maintenance, I'll explain details as I continue explaining. I'm on my 9th month now taking care of my client who's become my friend pretty much. However during this time I've experienced extensive stress because of how I'm passionately interacting with my client. I haven't taken breaks in the past 6 month. I work 17 hours non stop before I can get my sleep. I Usually suffer unbearable fatigue and this eventually led to depression , self neglect and weight loss. I don't know but after displaying that I'm responsible, it looks like my client has used that to get what ever she wants by making demands I believe no other care giver would tolerate. I'm saying this cause this has led to me skipping showers and meals to quickly attend to my panicking client, which I understand, however now I have to really hurry to serve her food, jump like I'm in the military to attend to her and get rude awakening anytime she wants even if it's 3am in the morning to turn on the tv for her. I've grown skinny, and weak and I'm just sinking. She doesn't want to give he space to be by myself, if I do. She becomes extremely demanding and can make me cook a meal for her at 11pm when I'm already left with no energy. She's not disabled or have a chronic illness, however she sits on a wheel chair and I push her all around and basically do lifting to help her around. I'm growing really tired of this situation and I can't go to sleep close to midnight 24/7 even when I'm extremely tired. I'm battling and need help.

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If your friend came to you and presented this situation to you how would you advise her? I think that we often know the answers to our own question, we just need to look at it from the outside.
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I think it is time to change clients. There are many, many elderly people who need care. You can continue to earn money for your retirement but avoid some of the stress. Use what you are learned in this job to set some boundaries and set a professional tone to your relationship.

The deep end of depression is a very scary place to be, and it is seldom a DIY project to get out of it. I suggest some professional counseling support. Giving up this job is going to have its own set of stresses, guilt feelings, etc. You probably don't need long-term therapy, but a few sessions might help you over the rough spots.
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Dear IamUnknown,

I know you care a lot but this is too much. It is not right for one caregiver to be working more than 8 to 10 hours a day. I know your client is probably lonely too but still. Please remember to care for yourself as well.

I am not sure if you can speak to your employer about this woman. Are they able to hire another caregiver and give you some respite?
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Oh boy, I hope you got out of that situation. If not, hopefully there is someone coming in to relieve you.
You are 28 years old. You're too young to be living that life. This is a time when you should be out enjoying your life. Don't waste it if you don't have to. Good luck.
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You need to set some boundaries with this individual. You will be available during certain times and only during those times. You also will be responsible for certain duties and beyond those, she will need to make other arrangements. If you cannot come to an agreement, it would be best for everyone's mental and physical health, that you part ways. Life is too short to waste it.
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That's true and thanks for the advise, yes I'm doing this as part of my retirement investment. However thinking about it carefully, it almost feels like I'm saving up for my future medical bills, if I chose not to change my job. I need the money but I also hope this doesn't deprive me all the way to hospi. I'd like to have kids one day and be able to raise them, with no medical issues.
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That's true and thanks for the advise, yes I'm doing this as part of my retirement investment. However thinking about it carefully, it almost feels like I'm saving up for my future medical bills, if I chose not to change my job. I need the money but I also hope this doesn't deprive me all the way to hospi. I'd like to have kids one day and be able to raise them, with no medical issues.
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Sorry for your circumstances. You must really need the money to put up with this. I'd quit if at all possible. People that age do not change. Next client set boundrys from the start.
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