What do you expect from your paid caregiver.

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My children and I live with my elderly father. We have two different paid caregivers who assist while Im working. My father's overall health has improved over the past year and he needs companionship more than he needs physical assistance. He can bathe, dress and use the bathroom without any assistance. He cannot live alone though and does need assistance with cooking his meals, medication management, etc.
I would like to hear from others who have paid caregivers, what are your expectations of them We have excellent caregivers. My question is when does going above and beyond the call of duty become intrusive ? For example out weekday caregiver feels as if she is in charge of our home. I have not heard of a HHA who takes it upon herself to do interior decorating of their client's home I understand that my father doesnt mind, but hello...I live here and I DO MIND. If I say anything it will turn into a "Well your daughter doesnt want me to do that so I just wont come back..." There is never a median. Its her way or the highway.
Yesterday I shared a sandwich with my father and she snapped at me or if I do something for him, she's standing over me telling me how to do it and what not to do. So I would like to get a general idea of what other expect from their paid caregivers.


It sounds like you have a caregiver who has way overstepped her boundaries and is not above resorting to a little emotional blackmail to get her point across ("Well, your daughter doesn't want me to do that so I just won't come back...").

If you think it's intrusive, it is intrusive.

Did you get this caregiver through an agency?
When my aunt and dad hired the two care givers for my grandfather ( one recently quit) They specifically told them they needed to do light housekeeping ( vacuum,mop,dishes, occasional dusting, breakfast, set pills,laundry and drive to Dr appts.. the rest of the time they were there of course was just so he had company. The ladies agreed and they were hired. When asked for extra driving, my grandfather always paid them extra. Lovely ladies they are, we are lucky. Even tho the one lady quit, once in a while she still says hello to my grandfather. When we were there at the same time, they didnt seem to overstep boundaries..

It can happen where they feel they have gotten so close the the patient, they feel like they can take control, even tho you live there. Im sorry this happened to you, and no, she shouldn't be making design plans, its up to you and your dad. You need to talk to your dad about this, she should have never made that remark. I wish the best for you.
Obviously she is not a professional. You get what you pay for.
toomuch - could this possibly be a cultural difference?
Not really. We are of the same ethnic background and I think thats the problem. She feels too comfortable with that fact.

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