Exhausted.

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My mom suffered a serious cardiac episode nearly 2 years ago. Her recovery has been lengthy. She luves alone in her own home but I am an only child and her primary support. She walks with a walker, has occasional falls and is currently unable to drive. I work full time and live across town with my domestic partner. She requires frequent emotional support in addition to support with chores and errands. She is also a heavy drinker. She has always had high demands of me and it has become more intense these past 2 years. I love her so much and empathize hugely but I am beginning to feel very resentful and exhausted. She refuses to use community supports that may be available with the exception of accessible public transit... but only to and from work 3 days per week, the rest often falls to my partner and I as I am an only child and he drives while I do not. The guilt/resentment cycle is taking it's toll emotionally and physically. Any words of support or wisdom would be appreciated here.

3 Comments

Um. Oh goodness. Try typing "detaching with love" into the Search Site box, top right. Just something to keep in mind if you do, though - it is a right and good thing to love your mother, and nobody would even think of trying to make you stop. So don't take unflattering terms like "toxic" the wrong way - this is about protecting you, not about being unkind to your mother. Best of luck.
Thank you!
Al-Anon has meetings for adult children of alcoholics. Also read up on thiamine depletion from alcohol and subsequent dementia. Ask MD for Rx.

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