'Scuse me while I go cry... :'(

Started by

♪ It's my party and I'll cry if I want to, cry if I want to, cry if I want to.You would cry too if it happened to you ♪ Oh, and let's not forget about my nerves... what nerves?!? I don't have any left! So don't go worrying yourself about getting on mine today, because you'd only be dry humping them! Just two major panic attacks within the last week, thats all!! You'd think, out of all the 50 family members that live in the same town, within 10-15 minutes apart from each of us, that it woulda been nice of someone to ask if I would like to go out, get a break or mayby to just have a nice dinner OR 1 stiff drink... or 20! But nooooo!!! Sorry, I just need to vent for a minute here! This old hag hasn't seen the light of day since my poor mother came home from the hospital. I've sat inside the house this whole day long on my 45th birthday!!... I feel so unappreciated sometimes :( But, on the bright side, I told my mother that today was my birthday and she guessed my age to be 21... so, that made my day! :) I'm done with crying now... Rant over.


Karzy8 , So how long have you been caring for Mom that your getting panic attacks ? When you become a caregiver you can " Give " or you feel like something is being " Taken " from you . If family members want to help they would but most have no intention of doing anything of the kind unless its beneficial to them like $$$ , don't resent them for not helping it doesn't sound like they would be much help especially if you have to fall apart for that to happen . Take your days in stride have a home health aid come in one or two days for a couple of hours to give you break , brining uncooperative family members you will have more than panic attacks . Have a good one !
This is going to sound really stupid but have you asked your family members for help? When my dad lived with me I was so resentful that my brother didn't help out. I assumed he should just know that I needed help and then offer it. He told me much later that he had no idea what to do for me and that he assumed that I would ask him if I needed help. When I finally did get into the position where I needed help (although I went months and months without asking) my brother jumped right in and lightened my load considerably. But I had waiting until I was on the brink of a nervous breakdown before I asked. How I wished I had asked sooner!

Maybe your family assumes that you're doing just fine. Have you asked for help?
You look 21 ;) and you haven't lost your sense of humor.
Hope someone steps up so you can have an belated birthday.
Every day is a teary day, just depends whether it can be controlled or to give in to the emotion. Panic attack, anxiety attacks, depression, is a norm when caregiving to family member, particularly when there is dementia and hurtful words received by the one you have sacrificed your life, YES, really your LIFE, as once you take on the responsibility as i have and she has lived with me for the last 7 years since my father passed away. It has been a downward spiral, her health, and my life. My father passed away, two month later my mother moved in with me, to the family home that I bought from them years ago, and then I lost my job four months later. Got another job and lost that job about a year and half ago. Now I'm almost 58, back in school (almost done), no job, and caregiver to my mother who does not have anything nice to say to me, saves it all for everyone else. I'm sick of being kicked around, put down, degraded, unappreciated, by a mother who has drank my blood. I feel i have done everything i can for her , and yet nothing is good enough. So financially I am struggling, and emotionally its a struggle every day to wake up to another day of torment inside, trying to tame that feeling of worthlessness, hopelessness, and sadness. The one blessing that keeps me going is my SON, for without him I wouldn't even bother. He has turned out to be a wonderful person with a good heart and caring after all the heartaches through the years. Yes , my prayers were answered. I am sure there are others who are feeling like i do because of their circumstances. The negativity on a constant daily basis pushed me away so that I can somehow save myself from the hell i feel i am going through. My mother has lived her life, she does not want me to live mine nor does she want to see a smile onmy face, never did. Why did I take on this JOB??? Guess it's a continuation of a life growing up in a home of depression and a father who worked all the time, a mother who relied on others for everything, a husband who did everything for her, and a daughter who allowed her to make her unhappy. Oh there is someone else in the family, or is there? Why bother, when you know you are on your own to deal with this.
Really, does anyone care, really?? I am so very fed up with all of it.
I feel ashamed for having to post this, and wish now I had not. I sounded like an over grown child! I guess we all get flustered, we're just humans here. I've taken care of my mother for a few months. She lived alone up until a few months back. She seemed to have south over night! Things are much better today. I now have home health care coming in 3 days a week, and that has been a huge load off my shoulders! I got this!! I may fall apart next week, but I'm good today! Thanks for the reply. I appreciate it very much :)
Went south*
I completely understand how you feel! My dad and I work full time and are the only caregivers to my mom. I know it sounds weird but we are able to leave her home during the day right now, but I think that is about to change. She is only alone every other day. So when I mention to my sister who lives 10 minutes away and has the summer off because she is a teacher, hey could you call mom a couple times a day to check on her? She says yes I can do that.......

hasnt called once! She and my brother have no idea what kind of daily stress my dad are under!

Dont worry about feeling bad for letting your feelings out. I use this website to it too! I think it is better to let it out here than towards the person we are caring for.

We are all here for you and will listen/read anytime you feel the need to vent!

Keep the conversation going (or start a new one)

Please enter your Comment

Ask a Question

Reach thousands of elder care experts and family caregivers
Get answers in 10 minutes or less
Receive personalized caregiving advice and support