Everyday it's her, her, her...

Started by

Just venting this am.Everyday it's just her,her ,her.It's all about her.Well she got a manicure and a pedicure yesterday ,I didn't.Life is so bad for her.Just feel like screaming and throwing things this am.Can't even stand the sound of her voice.I'll just keep presenting reality to her every time she comes up with this woe is me routine.I have to take her to the dermatologist this am.Reminded her there are a lot of people that don't have access to the good insurance she thankfully has and can't just run to the MD any time they want.Also reminded her she is lucky to have me because otherwise she would be up sh--t creek and she better pray nothing happens to me.

4 Comments

Their self obsession can be exasperating. Most of the time I feel like I could be laying on the floor bleeding out the ears and mouth, and all she would say is "Who is going to take me to the doctor now?" I went through your feelings this morning. I was in the back yard with a little recycling bin. I just wanted to throw it hard against the ground again and again, but I knew it would make me feel worse. Most of the time it is pretty easy to stay calm, but somethings the anger rears its fire-breathing head in me. I hate it when that happens. It feels bad to know how much anger I'm pushing down.
Wow! Reading this made me feel SO much better! Thanks.

My Mom is sweet and we've always been very close but as the AD progresses I am overwhelmed by her narcissism. Her sweetness is definitely a manipulation tactic which sort of falls apart under stress. I TOTALLY hear the part about wanting to throw things. Oh, how I want to tear something up! So far, I've managed to go to my room and read here when that happens and I've vented here as well.

I don't know how to help you, but your post has helped me tremendously. Thank you.
I promise you, if was on the floor dying, my father would ask if he could have some more ice cream. He often says, boy I hope nothing happens to you because then we wouldn't have anyone to take care of us. Thank God, I am only child or else he wouldn't care if anything happened to me or not. My parents have only a few things that are on their mind all of the time, their medicine, their doctors and their food. I can come in from work totally exhausted and their demands begin. I ask why they didn't have a caregiver do it and they say because we want you to do it. They say that children do not develop empathy until 8 or 10, I think the elderly lose any ability for empathy after 80. I stay calm because I have developed the Stockholm syndrome - I now identify with my captors. - By the way that is sort of a joke.
depression is a monster and it destroys relationships largely. my mother used to sit and pour out the absolute worst scenario in every facet of or lives. her thinking was skewed by depression and things honestly werent as bad as she was envisioning them. back when i was still stupid enough to try to reason with her id try to convince her that all the negativity was unwarranted. then i learned to just get up and walk away. in moments she would pull herself together and come looking for me to apologise. they cant help it. with depression there just is no optomism. the more you understand dementia and old age related depression the more patient you may become. i did and im glad. mom is gone now and im glad i learned to cope with the negativity and treat her kindly. id have some big regrets now if i hadnt..

Keep the conversation going (or start a new one)

Please enter your Comment

Ask a Question

Reach thousands of elder care experts and family caregivers
Get answers in 10 minutes or less
Receive personalized caregiving advice and support