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She told us we were lucky that she hasn't put anti-freeze yet in our drinks, because she has it in her car in her trunk, she is beyond reason and refuses to be treated or get help, she is currently being held on a Baker Act but my fear is her wrath when she comes home and that she will not continue care, I will not allow her to continue to live with us unless she is being treated by a doctor. I am beyond stressed I have no time for myself in the evenings as every night is a new battle it is like living with Jekyl & Hyde I have gained weight from the stress, ALOT of weight, I am not happy and this is not fair to my son or I. Any suggestions? I need to get POA on her also ASAP.

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So far so good the meds are working and she is not refusing to take them, but she does demand I give her the bottle and her wallet back and I stood my ground and refused, she can not have her wallet she will just order QVC like crazy. Anyhow I am taking her to the doctor today, hoping that goes well, and they do need to increase her dosage.
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The good thing is that if she acts up I will have an easier time getting the cops to baker act her again now that she was there 12 days.
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We have to wait until almost the end of the day Monday to get the script for the patches ridiculous, they told her if she don't take the pills she will be back there so we are hoping that works, I will not deal with her crazy in my house, but I am worried how this weekend will go, I need a calm stress free weekend. UGH!!
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Oh, Dancer....your son may be young, tall and strong....BUT...at 17....he's still a kid....don't put him in this possibly confrontational situation w/his own GM.....your loyalty should be to his safety and peace of mind, first......then, you deal w/Mom....and, frankly, it sounds like she needs a lot more time to prove she's both able and worthy "to come home".....
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Good luck, Dancer...but I'll be totally honest here, I think you're making a huge mistake taking her back into your home.
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I hope your son does not have to get physical with her,, that would be a whole different problem down the road. Good luck with the patches, and make sure you put them where she can't get at them
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Oh yes you are right. I am hoping to curb that with the patches.
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keep in mind, these mental issues seem to always find a way out. my opinion it comes out in 'i don't need these meds anymore'....and we see what comes of that
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My son is 5'11" and my mom is 4'8" he is very strong, and a few weeks shy of 18, we are going to use patches to ensure she stays on meds, but this is a trial basis, if she acts up again I am sending her to a facility.
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I'm rather shocked that you would accept her back into your home with children, when it has been demonstrated that you are not able to ensure that she stays medicated. If there is no reason to believe that has changed, without medicaiton, then I wouldn't think that it would happen magically. Very serious situation. I would get legal advice about my obligation to protect my children from known dangers.
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Depakote was given to her and we were finally able to visit after 11 days and I must say what a 360 degree difference, she did not talk about the past, her anger and outbursts were under control, and we were the only people in the visiting area laughing and joking and enjoying her company again.It was like it took the crazy right out of her. AMAZING difference. Now if she could just stay like that, because that same morning she was not on meds she was the same combative assaultive, lashing out blaming me and bringing up my rebellious teen years. I requested they prescribe patches so I can ensure she is on her meds once back home, They may discharge her this weekend.
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well she is finally taking meds they made me her proxy, they have extended her stay and she does not want to live with us but financially she can not go to a home or live alone, she will have to come home to my house and continue treatment, I am seeking a lawyer for POA so I can ensure she pays her bills makes sound decisions and continues treatment. I have had the most stressful 2 weeks ever.
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If she refused to see you.. there you go... no need for guilt anymore!
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My son is almost 18 but still we have had it, we just tried to visit her and she refused, she is also refusing the meds the doctor ordered
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This sounds like a power struggle where both want control. Both parties need domestic violence counseling and a temporary order of protection.
The cost of the apartment is irrelevant. The safety of the child is paramount.
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I understand, but far too many of 'mentally ill' know the difference between right and wrong. Many mentally ill are harmless enough. But when they go off the deep end, it is always evil they consistently commit. And far too many are manipulative to boot. Mom may deserve compassion, but not at sons expense. Trouble is, there is no where to put 'mentals' any more.
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Twocents, I share your sentiment, but I'd point out that mentally ill is not the same as evil. The mother deserves compassion, but the OP and son deserve safety first and foremost.
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why do people sacrifice their own children to appease an evil parent of their own
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Get out....I don't want to read about this on the evening news and your son is an innocent who does not deserve this, nor do you. It's like the say on the airplanes--put the oxygen mask on yourself first--you can't save anyone if you don't save yourself first.
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I am so sorry that your mother is so severely mentally ill. She did not ask for that and she cannot control it.

But neither did you ask for this, and you certainly can't control it. Tell the discharge planners that you cannot take your mother back into your apartment. You are not qualified to care for her and you must protect yourself and your son from her threats. Be firm.

I am sorry this puts you in a financial bind. That you were willing to take a chance and try to provide a comfortable home for her speaks highly of you. You did the right thing for what you knew at the time. I hope the financial hardship is temporary and you can quickly downsize again. But even the financial hardship does not override the sensible approach here: Do not make your son share his home with this mentally ill person who is violent.

There is no "bad guy" here. This is no one's fault. Continue to love your mother, advocate for her care, visit her often, and do not put yourself and son at risk.
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I would move into something you can afford on your own. Will she continue to take the meds once released? Who can say?

This is someone who needs professional caregiving.
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We moved in a more expensive larger apartment to accommodate her, I need her to pay her share of the rent, I will get a second job for peace of mind if I need to, but we want her to get the help she needs, I hope they are medicating her and telling her that it is helping her and she needs it.
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She is Baker acted.. tell them you can no longer care for her . End of story. you say she lives with you.. not you with her.. so just stand your ground.
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Ooo, I wouldn't want POA. In your shoes I would say that I was no longer able to provide care because I worried about the health of my child. The antifreeze comment would have been enough for me to not allow her to live with me. I would be tempted to let the state become her guardian. You have your son to protect. He will probably thank you for giving yourself some comfortable distance. Neither one of you should have to live in fear of what she'll do.
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