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Welp, My mother ended up in the hospital anyways.
I was at the nursing home about to sign the admission papers and prep her room when the aid called. Mother had gone off the wall again running up and down the hall banging on apartment doors and hurt the aid.
The admission guy told me to "get out! I am not comfortable with this situation" - crap. I called the ambulance and had her admitted.
Truly dont know if that NH will take her now, and to tell the truth I have had it with the whole thing- burnt out to a crisp, PTSD, in pain, exhausted.

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Mica tossing a ball must be a common thing in these situations. I remember my Mom at the Rehab place. At the time she thought tossing, actually kicking a ball was beneath her. I remember us wheeling her into the cafeteria and a chinese man pointing to my Mom and saying "she kick ball good' Funny and sad at the same time.
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So happy to read you could take your shoes off and relax for a while! You DESERVE it!! We're here for you.
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Lord bless you sweetheart. Glad the got her stable so quickly!
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Fantastic for you mica.....worst case scenario turns out almost perfect..... so glad this is over for you.. this part anyway.... leave those shoes off for awhile...
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i said months- make that 10 years!
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SHE's IN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
we went and set up room and she was transported from hospital and had lunch!
After that she wanted to wander, so off we went and she said "hi" to everyone in their wheelchairs. We sat in a nice big room looking at the woods- then they got everyone together to toss a ball and we left!
lord help them :O
I actually took my shoes off after all these months of running around after her care. My brain is still yacking at me, but I am telling it to "shush"
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Mom needed the 24/7 caregiver after returning from the hospital for about five weeks. Yes, it was an additional cost of about $2,500.00 a week.

Just a couple of weeks ago, mom was in an altercation, pushed a woman down into a chair, thank goodness. So, now they are watching her very carefully again.
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Mica, ths happened to my mom a few days after the move to memory care. She was hospitalized and the meds straightened out. That does not mean her meds were wrong, but that the move caused anxiety and anger. After the hospitalization the facility also required a 24/7 caregiver to be with her. The extra attention seemed to help as well as the change in meds. In the last couple of weeks, my Mom has started to become more aggressive, and I wonder if she too will end up in a geri psych facility. Only time will tell.

Hang on it is a wild ride. You have done so much for your mom, it is now time to step back and let the pros figure it out. The hospital should arrange all transport, and remember Mom's condition is not your fault, and you are not able to provide the necessary care.
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Prior post... "you do not take your mom ANYWHERE"
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Mica, another thing. You are not responsible for your mom's behavior. Her broken brain is. Everyone in the hospital and the NH knows that. Please don't feel shame over this. Not your fault, and not hers either.
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Nnpo, Mica. YOU do not take your mom ANSWER from here on in. Mom gets transported by ambulance or ambulette or she doesn't move. Repeat that to yourself three times, right now.

When we transferred my mom from rehab to assisted living, I said "oh, no problem, we'll drive her (I didn't know about ambulette service, nor did I realize how my mom's dementia had affected her thinking). We put her in my car ( she used to LOVE my car) and she started to cry. As we pulled out onto the highway, she tried to pull the steering wheel out of my husband's hands. Thank goodness it was him and not me.

When anyone asks you about transfers, you simply say that she is not safe to be transferred in any other way.
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well, it's monday the day she was supposed to go into the nursing home. We never got the papers signed friday, and I have NO idea what is going to happen today- I TRULY hope they dont have her leave the hospital before she is absolutely stable and have the NH complain to me and hold me responsible and her go back to hospital. I am realizing now that it will be me that has to take her from the hospital to the NH - I dont know how you guys do it without having a heart attack or stroke from holding in all the emotions....
Thank you all for your responses from the other side...
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That's just awful for you. That is so much to handle and so hard.

Brain diseases are cruel to the people that have them and their loved ones. Just know that it's not unusual for patients to act out that way. There's no shame, so don't feel any on your mom's part. It's the nature of the disease and the medical staff have seen it all.

I know this is really weird to say, but there is no personal failure on your part. The med staff know that, and they know how disease affects people.

When my dad was dying in hospice of brain cancer, he did some weird stuff that he NEVER would've done before he became ill. It was embarrassing and hard and I thought that I was the first person to ever feel that shame about a parent acting in an inappropriate way.

That was soooo much wasted energy on my part. When we're healthy we are used to usual expectations of behavior. When a brain disease occurs, 'Katy, bar the door!' Hope you are old enough to understand that saying.

My heart breaks for you and all you are going through. It's the worst. Been there, done that and now dealing with my mom.

((Hugs)) for strength. We are here for you.
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Mica, I just don't know what to say. This is just the worst. We all dread these situations. You've done all anyone could possibly do. What happens, happens at this point. It's not your fault.
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All the work, the sacrafices, it is not gone.... it is still all there, nothing was in vain.... you did the right things for the right reasons, and that is what matters... yes, today she is off the walls....but your hard work STILL matters,,,,please take care of yourself..... no need for you both to be in the hospital... sending you hugs across the miles.
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Well, I just got phone call from hospital from a geripsych Dr. The whole call there was someone screaming in the background......
it was my mother..... :(
Just yesterday on the ambulance ride she was fine, and now this-
I cannot protect her any more, this is way beyond me.
I was taken for a drive today to calm my heart....
all the work i did for her gone in an instant when I left.
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OH Mica, so sorry to hear about this. Take advantage of the hospital social workers to identify an appropriate placement for her. Sending good vibes your way.
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Wow, what a tough situation! I wish I could offer some answers but I think that with your mother's behavior, she is headed toward a psychiatric placement, or medication to control her anger outbursts. Is this the first time this kind of outburst has occurred? If so, do you have any idea what preceded it?

I see that she has late stage Alzheimers, so she may be in that combative stage. If so, hopefully Jessie's suggestion that a review be undertaken to determine if there are any meds that can help will in fact be done by the hospital. From my understanding, when the ALZ anger stage is reached, behavior can't be modified without intervention.

Remember, that the disease has changed your mother; she probably has no concept of what she's doing or any control over her behavior.

I'm so sorry for you; this must be so hard to bear. Please take some time off just to rest so that this doesn't compromise your own health.
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I feel bad for everyone involved here. Is the hospital going to see about putting your mother in the hospital for a geri psych review to see if there is some medication that can calm her down? I know that she is miserable, and that misery is making you miserable. I hope someone can do something for her.
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