Ended up in the hospital.

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Welp, My mother ended up in the hospital anyways.
I was at the nursing home about to sign the admission papers and prep her room when the aid called. Mother had gone off the wall again running up and down the hall banging on apartment doors and hurt the aid.
The admission guy told me to "get out! I am not comfortable with this situation" - crap. I called the ambulance and had her admitted.
Truly dont know if that NH will take her now, and to tell the truth I have had it with the whole thing- burnt out to a crisp, PTSD, in pain, exhausted.

19 Comments

I feel bad for everyone involved here. Is the hospital going to see about putting your mother in the hospital for a geri psych review to see if there is some medication that can calm her down? I know that she is miserable, and that misery is making you miserable. I hope someone can do something for her.
Wow, what a tough situation! I wish I could offer some answers but I think that with your mother's behavior, she is headed toward a psychiatric placement, or medication to control her anger outbursts. Is this the first time this kind of outburst has occurred? If so, do you have any idea what preceded it?

I see that she has late stage Alzheimers, so she may be in that combative stage. If so, hopefully Jessie's suggestion that a review be undertaken to determine if there are any meds that can help will in fact be done by the hospital. From my understanding, when the ALZ anger stage is reached, behavior can't be modified without intervention.

Remember, that the disease has changed your mother; she probably has no concept of what she's doing or any control over her behavior.

I'm so sorry for you; this must be so hard to bear. Please take some time off just to rest so that this doesn't compromise your own health.
OH Mica, so sorry to hear about this. Take advantage of the hospital social workers to identify an appropriate placement for her. Sending good vibes your way.
Well, I just got phone call from hospital from a geripsych Dr. The whole call there was someone screaming in the background......
it was my mother..... :(
Just yesterday on the ambulance ride she was fine, and now this-
I cannot protect her any more, this is way beyond me.
I was taken for a drive today to calm my heart....
all the work i did for her gone in an instant when I left.
All the work, the sacrafices, it is not gone.... it is still all there, nothing was in vain.... you did the right things for the right reasons, and that is what matters... yes, today she is off the walls....but your hard work STILL matters,,,,please take care of yourself..... no need for you both to be in the hospital... sending you hugs across the miles.
Mica, I just don't know what to say. This is just the worst. We all dread these situations. You've done all anyone could possibly do. What happens, happens at this point. It's not your fault.
That's just awful for you. That is so much to handle and so hard.

Brain diseases are cruel to the people that have them and their loved ones. Just know that it's not unusual for patients to act out that way. There's no shame, so don't feel any on your mom's part. It's the nature of the disease and the medical staff have seen it all.

I know this is really weird to say, but there is no personal failure on your part. The med staff know that, and they know how disease affects people.

When my dad was dying in hospice of brain cancer, he did some weird stuff that he NEVER would've done before he became ill. It was embarrassing and hard and I thought that I was the first person to ever feel that shame about a parent acting in an inappropriate way.

That was soooo much wasted energy on my part. When we're healthy we are used to usual expectations of behavior. When a brain disease occurs, 'Katy, bar the door!' Hope you are old enough to understand that saying.

My heart breaks for you and all you are going through. It's the worst. Been there, done that and now dealing with my mom.

((Hugs)) for strength. We are here for you.
well, it's monday the day she was supposed to go into the nursing home. We never got the papers signed friday, and I have NO idea what is going to happen today- I TRULY hope they dont have her leave the hospital before she is absolutely stable and have the NH complain to me and hold me responsible and her go back to hospital. I am realizing now that it will be me that has to take her from the hospital to the NH - I dont know how you guys do it without having a heart attack or stroke from holding in all the emotions....
Thank you all for your responses from the other side...
Nnpo, Mica. YOU do not take your mom ANSWER from here on in. Mom gets transported by ambulance or ambulette or she doesn't move. Repeat that to yourself three times, right now.

When we transferred my mom from rehab to assisted living, I said "oh, no problem, we'll drive her (I didn't know about ambulette service, nor did I realize how my mom's dementia had affected her thinking). We put her in my car ( she used to LOVE my car) and she started to cry. As we pulled out onto the highway, she tried to pull the steering wheel out of my husband's hands. Thank goodness it was him and not me.

When anyone asks you about transfers, you simply say that she is not safe to be transferred in any other way.
Mica, another thing. You are not responsible for your mom's behavior. Her broken brain is. Everyone in the hospital and the NH knows that. Please don't feel shame over this. Not your fault, and not hers either.

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