In February, I am going to assist my mother by relieving a bit of stress by helping her care for my father for a month. My father is on board with this. My mother, who just has a mastectomy, has had to put herself aside to care for my father. Without telling the entire history, his health recently took a turn for the worse after my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. He is healing from a recent surgery on his leg but also suffers from an inoperable hemorrhoid that not only causes him some pain but he lives in the bathroom for he feels the urge at all times. He has a walker for balance at this time which I think is due to over medication. He does not have Alzheimer's or dementia but is over medicated by the doctors so he is forgetful, sleeps all of the time, in the bathroom, or just watches TV. He has always had a little bit of depression but he was an avid tennis player so that has always been a stress reliever for him,
My question is does anyone have some tips for handling someone who most days just doesn't want to do anything? Shower, PT, walking more than down the driveway and blatantly has no regard for anyone's needs but his own. For example, he will say that he will agree to not eating in his room (he makes a mess if he does) and do his PT but lies. My mother is overworked from all of this so i am going to help.I want to be respectful to him but at the same time he has to start doing things on his own and not just having someone wait on him because he doesn't feel like it.
The ultimate goal would be to have him showering, get out of his bed/chair, out of the bathroom and picking up after himself and helping my mother who needs to heal. Oh and any ideas of convincing him that pain medication isn't always the answer would also be helpful.
Any ideas or experiences that you suggest would be most welcomed.