Emotionally worn out, and now there is a crisis.

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Mom went into hospital Sunday. They think her hernia is causing bowel obstruction. Still hasn't gone back to normal on its own. Tube in nose to stomach. Social worker just called. Mom can't make decisions to have operation. She would have to be incubated for a while. Said dad was in pain from that. Other choice is hospice in a facility. She told hospital staff not to call me. Fine with me. She probably wouldn't be swayed by what I said anyway. I'm voting for hospice. Tube cant be left in too much longer. Irritated her nose. She may not be able to talk eventually. Mom says she cant make her decision yet. She has terrible time making hard decisions. And this is especially hard. Just wanted to talk to someone. Thans for listening.



Barbara, I'm so sorry to hear this sad news. How did you find out? Did your brother call you?
Is the social worker asking you to make a decision?
You'd be surprised how long a g-tube up through the nose and down into the stomach can be in place. My son had one like that on two occasions - separated by about a week - for three weeks each time.
My husband said dont worry about things you cant do anything about. I said thats easier said than done. He said yes but. And repeated that I should not worry if I cant do anything. Please tell me how Im supposed to get calm and not be stressed out?

The social worker said that the decision is between the patient and the family. I said that I have no influence over mom. To make a decision at all or one choice over another. I told the social worker that I cant over rule mom because she is in her right mind. At least technically. Her choices arnt always in her best interest.

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