Need Support - Emotionally separating from Mom and feeling less guilt.
I have had years of being too tied to mom. I feel guilt bacause she is in bad place. But it was her doing. And she wont take suggestions. Wont accept help in the house. She complains about feeling pain, etc. Has the money to pay someone to help her. But is worried about brother being homeless after she dies. So she won't spend anymore than she has to. She insists he has to live in house when she dies. And will need lots of money for home and living expences. He has personality disorder and cant hold a job. He gets SSI. Been emotionally drained from mom several times over the past several years. Have to start concentrating on my own life more. She is 89 years old and uses a walker. Has several health problems. Brother lives with her. But doest help much. He is selfish and lazy. Most of my contact with mom is by phone. I only live anhour and a half away but. I go see her two to three times a year. I'm going to see her four times a year starting this year. Partly for her and partly to see when she gets so bad that I have to try to force help on her. She doesr want volunteer to help eighter. She has several reasons. And her being rigid, no one can influence her to do it.