I emailed my sister and told her off.

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I emailed my sister and told her off.

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I emailed my sister and told her off. she loves to live in the past and loves telling me I cant take care of mom. I have had it with her telling me off. I told her my doctor said she was fine and so was her memory. I told her That my rude awakening wasn't not that I wasn't doing a good job taking care of mom, but that I wasn't taking care of myself first. I also told her I was tired of her emotional roller coaster and listening to her talk about her past.
she just wants my mom in a assisting living, so she doesn't have to worry about her. She is also the one who wants to put down her dog, because she claims he bit mom, which is untrue. So I have had it with her. I want to say to to her UP her nose with a rubber hose. Pami

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P pamstegma May 2014 · Answer 1 · 2014-05-18T19:29:40.000-0400

Good for you!. Stand your ground! So many of us suffer from Monday morning quarterbacks. Gosh there is a full moon, maybe she's affected by it. Better take your phone off the hook for a few days.

P pami68 May 2014 · Answer 2 · 2014-05-18T19:53:35.000-0400

thanks Pam! Good Idea! I still would like to say to her up her nose with a rubber hose.

J JeanetteB May 2014 · Answer 3 · 2014-05-18T23:27:14.000-0400

If you are the only person taking care of Mom....why does your sister care if mom goes into assisted living? She doesn't have to take care of her? Why the email? Did you ask your sister for help?

From what you wrote, your rude awakening is that you are taking care of your mother without sibling support and are getting really tired.

Put down the hose! :) take a break

A anonymous221925 May 2014 · Answer 4 · 2014-05-18T23:43:22.000-0400

Good for you. I would have sent a snail mail letter for the extra bang it gets.

G gladimhere May 2014 · Answer 5 · 2014-05-19T00:46:49.000-0400

The last time I talked to my narcissistic sister on the phone, it was another one of those, well what about me conversations. I finally just got sick of her whining, crying, and blaming me for everything so simply told her I am done here, do not call again, invite me to your home, I want nothing to do with you. All gone, though she still occasionally tries to get me. But, it sure doesn't effect me the way it once did. I can only control my behaviors and actions, do not need to worry or try controlling her.

P pami68 May 2014 · Answer 6 · 2014-05-19T20:14:26.000-0400

all of you are right . I am taking a break. Planted flowers in my Garden. I don't ask her for help she just insists I cant do you are are right I am tired, but I wont stop taking care of her. I am taking more breaks now. When she calls And I don't call back immediately she gets angry. Oh well!She is bi polar and i told her I will not go on her emotional roller coaster. I haven't heard back about what I have said. Pami

G gladimhere May 2014 · Answer 7 · 2014-05-19T20:44:25.000-0400

Pami-
And you will keep waiting for her call. DO NOT call her, this drives the narcissist absolutely nutty. They want to be pursued no matter what the reason because it provides for their very sick need for attention, whether it is positive or negative.

A anonymous158299 May 2014 · Answer 8 · 2014-05-19T21:23:31.000-0400

sorry , but you fell for it , she was screwin with you and you caved .. ( just my opinion ) . someone who isnt worth your ire should just draw a bland stare from you .. a sympathetic stare, ; you poor , undereducated f** k .. thats the look .

H hope22 May 2014 · Answer 9 · 2014-05-20T00:51:16.000-0400

Isn't it the most bizarre thing when the ones who don't do one single thing are all concerned with needing to put them in the NH, AL, etc. I have been through this too. My sib does not have to be concerned about one single thing (except how he is going to bury me if I die as he said)...to which I told him, roll me down the hill into the woods as I could care less....but always telling me what to do how to do etc....very odd....I just give him the old "hmmm" and think to myself..."allrightythen".....

P pami68 May 2014 · Answer 10 · 2014-05-20T20:05:35.000-0400

Well I wont be calling her or emailing her. Also I did ask for it. Wont do it anymore!I
It is the most bizarre thing with sibling. I want too be cremated. Shaking I have done that and now have stopped it. What use it, all it does is get you in
trouble. That isn't happening anymore.

S sharynmarie May 2014 · Answer 11 · 2014-05-20T20:34:33.000-0400

Pami~It's ok sometimes we have to accept the we are an only child when siblings won't help. Detaching with love is a good skill to learn and you can google that to learn more about it. Set boundaries with family that won't help. You have chosen to help, they have have chosen not to help. It is about choices in the long run.

J JeanetteB May 2014 · Answer 12 · 2014-05-20T20:42:35.000-0400

Good for you Pami. Seriously sister, you need to be extra kind to yourself right now. As mentioned, detaching yourself from your sibling's crap is the best route for you and mom. You have to save yourself before you can save others :)

I have THREE older brothers. 2 live within 15 miles. HA! I have learned a very hard lesson. Anger would have consumed me so did it different. I do WHAT I feel is best and not worry about them.

Do your best.

P pami68 May 2014 · Answer 13 · 2014-05-21T22:32:35.000-0400

Thanks shayrn and Jeane. I wont tpo my neurologist today and she is keeping me on my seizure medication until things calm down like my sister. Two and half weeks ago I was in and auto accident. So I am getting over that. I have a lot of anger I have to deal with too. I am learning to pace myself. My mom and i went out to eat tonight and she wants to pay for a new car battery for me. I dont want her spending money on me, but she says its her car too. Guys want am I going to do when she goes! I love her so much. I am trying to take one day at a time. Sometimes I am okay and some days I am not okay. pami

I emailed my sister and told her off.

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