My parents think I'm their own private Cinderella slave.

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I have spent 3 of the last 5 days at my parents house. It has made me ill to the point I can barely get up. Abnormal? Friday I just had to come over. For what, my Dad hurt his back so they both went into I cant function at all mode? What was so urgent that day? As they sat upon their thrones and barked out orders: Blow the leaves, vaccum (sp?) water my plants, go get the mail, take care of the trash, go pick up lunch (plenty of food in the house, I had just taken them to the store 2 days earlier), send an email for me, wrap this present for me. Truly what was so important I had to drive 50 miles r/t and burn 1/4 tank of gas? None of it! My Mom called and needed me over with desperation in her voice. I am not their Cinderella (with no prince at the end)! How do I tell them that along with my brothers and sisters that act like help (rare to none) from them should be counted as gold? I have never been so physically sick from stress in my life, and yes I have my own on top of my King and Queen parent's demands. I feel like trash when they treat me like a servant! And yes some of the stuff they wanted me to do I said no to. Ok I have vented, any advice?

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Thank you all. I agree with all of your viewpoints. I think when I move in 6 more months I will make it my business to not take any of her errand calls. I mean she literally called me when I was living thousand miles away to call them and tell them she was coming by to pick the money up. I'm sorry, but that's no longer my problem and as I get older I notice I start to tell her more & more exactly how I feel. Even with this I told her "why are you scared to ask for your own money, you need to quit that." She sent me pages of paragraphs texting making excuses and blah blah. I don't think I'm better than my mom but I do think I speak more of my mind and confront people more than she claims she does. I'm very direct 99.9% of the time and I've always lived my life on my terms. I think the issue is she can't handle the fact that unlike some, I don't ask for her permission to do anything in my life simply because I don't have to. Not that I don't respect her. I use to ignore her calls & she results into the victim mode of "no one cares about me." I hate to say it but I wish she would just remarry already.
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notamaid -

It's that "trying to be respectful" thing that gets us every time. You are young, but even for some of us that are (much) older, it is hard to defy our parents, even when they are being completely unreasonable. We want to hold on to our "respectful child" role and change them back into "reasonable parent" mode.

Over time, you'll understand in your bones that it doesn't work that way and you'll let go of the need to maintain a show of "respect" for your parent. None of us wants to get in our parents' faces, telling them in so many words (or no words) that they're being unreasonable, stupid, or mean. Eventually most of us do it though. It's what is needed to set boundaries.

I like to say "you don't get to decide what anyone else should do. you just decide what you will and won't do." The problem is that when your parent is right on top of you, you end up having to justify not doing what you won't do. And that involves conflict, and calling a spade a spade, perhaps at the expense of feeling (and being) disrespectful of your parent. Eventually it will feel normal and okay to you.

You'll get there. In the meantime, you need to move out and make yourself less accessible to her. A lot of this is happening because you're in her house and she thinks you're still her kid and she can send you around to do her business however she sees fit.
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If she's getting these good deals through her work, then why isn't she stopping by their houses on the way home from HER job?

I know it's hard. Like Kimber above, my mother would yell and scream at me (although in her case it's more like crying and shaking, but still with verbal insults like, "You are not right in the head!").

If your mother points out that she put a roof over her head, make sure she knows that you took care of her. (Although if she's like my mother, she will think that's nothing. My mother is going to find out just what my help was worth when she pays agency workers for minimum numbers of hours the next time she becomes incapacitated. It will become quite a scene when I refuse to take care of her and suggest my brothers take turns and come down.)
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Tell your mom calmly and politely that you are no longer willing to drive the extra time and pick up the money. If they are getting such a good deal they should either bring the money or send it to her. (or automatically through on line banking).

What can she do? If it was my mom - she would yell and scream at me, but then go to your room and shut the door or leave for a while. Maintain your politeness, but there is no reason you can't say "No, i am not going to do that".
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@CTTN55 Apparently the money comes out of her account. She then places their money into her account after she's paid for it. They get a really good discount through her job so the bill is in her name. The thing is my grandparents are right at 90. And with my brother the car is in her name. My irritation is that none of this has nothing to do with me. She should go get the $ herself. Just like now. I'm at working and get off at night and she still wants me to drive the extra 30 minutes to pick her money up from them and bring it home. Mind you I already drive 45 mins to work back and forth. That's literally almost 2 hours before I get home now. It's really have gotten on my nerves and I told her today that if you're scared to ask for your money Y. Like, I'm trying to be respectful and find a respectful way of saying it, but I just don't know how. I almost want to just ignore her texts but even then I go home to her and I have to hear it. I move in 6 months and it feels like 1000 months. I just can't. I feel like I'm on the point of snapping and I hope it don't come out wrong.
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notamaid: "She just turned 50 and she pays for my grandparents cable & phone bill, my brother's car loan, and others. Every month when the bill is due, she waits til the end of the freaking month like today to ask me to call them for her money and then go to their houses (all live in different towns) to pick it up."

Why is she apparently collecting the money from them and then paying their bills for them? Why can't they pay their own bills? This is ridiculous. If they don't get the money to her themselves, she doesn't pay the bills (I hope the bills are in their names!). What's happening right now is that you are enabling HER enabling.
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I know this post is old, but I have to vent. I'm so sick of my mom having me run errands for her who is very able to do things on her own. She just turned 50 and she pays for my grandparents cable & phone bill, my brother's car loan, and others. Every month when the bill is due, she waits til the end of the freaking month like today to ask me to call them for her money and then go to their houses (all live in different towns) to pick it up. She doesn't care about my job or school. I feel like she thinks I owe her something, but I don't. And the reason I moved back home with her anyways was not because I was in need, I was doing well on my own thousands miles away, but she got sick so I decided to come home to get her well and make sure she takes her medicine etc. I work a midshift from 9 to almost 8 pm 45 minutes away and she thinks I suppose to drive and extra 30 to pick up her money that she wants to pay their bills. Every time I say to her, you can go get it or I'll tell them to call or text you about it or tell them to bring it by your house, she always comes up with some sorry ass excuse. I hate to sound mean, but that shit irks me. Her response is "i cant deal with that stress of hunting them down for their money." Okay, so I guess I supposed to take up the slack?--No.. I really can't wait until I move and this time I won't come back unless it's a real life dam near death situation. Like its suffocating and annoying. I thought about ignoring her when she asks me to call them for her money and let her do it, but since I do live with her for the remaining months I was going to wait until I move away and then let her know that I'm 27 and I have my own life to live, giving it up to be your maid and servant isn't an option. I just want to find a respectful way to do it. Still I think I should stop her now. I just don't know what to do, but she acts like I have nothing going on but to be her assistant.
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Blindandabused:

Hello all, I know it has been along time since I posted anything on here but I thought I would give everyone an update on my situation. First of all "thank you" to all you responded to my initial posting. It makes me feel happy to know that someone out their understands what I am going through. Now for the news. My father (the main source of my anger and frustration) passed away at the beginning of the summer.

This was not all that unexpected because he was suffering from stage four prostate cancer and it was only a matter of time. But as you can expect this came with its own frustrations. Particularly because my father did not have any prearranged burial instructions or money set aside for a funeral. So in the end he received a private ceremony at the home and a simple cremation. In the end this was for the best as most of his friends are either dead or in the same shape he was in so it is not like there were many to attend a full service.

As for how his death has affected the family most are happy that my father is no longer suffering and that we can start to make plans for the future.
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Blindandabused:

Hello all, I know it has been along time since I posted anything on here but I thought I would give everyone an update on my situation. First of all "thank you" to all you responded to my initial posting. It makes me feel happy to know that someone out their understands what I am going through. Now for the news. My father (the main source of my anger and frustration) passed away at the beginning of the summer.
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I think I did make it for him, talking to myself the whole time and preparing to move back home. I did call the Occupational Therapist and told her she had to work with him making toast, coffee, and microwave oatmeal.
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