Elderly mother wants to continue same activities she did with abusive deceased stepfather.
My stepfather was an abusive bully to my mother and my family. When he died there was such relief from everyone. The problem is, my mother wants to continue the same activities now with me-shop, takes rides and go out to eat. I hated that man and want nothing do do with anything that reminds me of him. The thought of taking my mother pleasure shopping, taking a drive or going out to eat nauseates me. Unfortuneately, those are the only activities she takes pleasure in and expects me to pickup where he left off. Their life was nothing but codependent misery with each other. I have no intention of repeating her lifestyle, but feel bad when I ignore her suggestions or change the subject. She is living independely, but prefers only to do those activities with me. She knows how I feel, but continually makes these suggestions. This problem has caused me to limit my time with her due to feelings of anger and resentment. She has COPD and has mobility issues, but will not consider purchasing a wheel chair so that I could take her out for activities we would both enjoy. Why would someone want to repeat a pattern of lifestyle that caused so much emotional pain?