At a loss.

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Like said my mom died but I just can't believe that she had reflux that night and being on ambien she wasn't able to correctly throw up so it was sucked down her lungs . the night before she was eating fine I found her in a terrible state at the nursing home she had a heart attack due to multi pneumonia I can't seem to get past all these facts


Sherrya, I think you are very confused, perhaps english is not your first language? I'm sorry for your loss.
Aspiration pneumonia is unfortunately common in dementia. It is unfortunate that she aspirated her vomit, as I understand it can be very corrosive to the lungs. Perhaps the ambien wasn't the best choice for a sleep aid, but try to put your worry about it in the past.
You say she had a (massive? multiple?) heart attack also. When my mom had her heart issues heartburn, nausea and reflux were her only symptoms until she had a heart attack, since pneumonia doesn't cause heart attacks I think your mom must have had problems before.
I tried to warn you in your previous posts that her condition sounded life threatening, I'm sorry you were unprepared for her loss. ((hugs))
I'm sorry for your loss Sherrya.
sherrya, when a person is dying, the stomach contents, the bowel, the bladder, all relax and the contents spill out. So sorry for your loss.
The heart stops but the lungs still gasp for air. Breathing is labored and intermittent. Any liquid from the relaxed stomach may enter the airway and you may think they are choking. They are not. You are just seeing reflexes that are still working even though the patient is dead.
Sherry, I don't believe ambien had anything to do with causing the heart attack or not being able to vomit. What you described can happen to love ones who don't take ambien.

I remember the day my boss' wife had passed. The wife was in her last stages of Alzheimer's and they were coming back home from seeing the doctor after a check-up... every thing was fine as can be.... then out of the blue she threw up, passed out, and was gone from heart failure.
REad:; Tuesdays with Morrie. No regrets...Love. and tell her now. WE have to go some way, and sometimes I don't think we have when and how, but know she is in a better place, and love never left....
"Pamstegma".... You have that backwards. When breathing stops the heart can still barely function until that stops. If the heart has stopped, respirations do not continue. There is no 'labored or intermittent breathing' if the heart has ceased to beat.
Sherrya I am so sorry for your loss but don't be too hard on yourself. Some things in life we can control....some things in life are beyond are control and we just have to accept the fact and try to move on. I believe in fate and no matter 'what we did', 'what we didn't do' or ' what we should have done' doesn't change what happens. My thoughts to you and your family.

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