I'm pretty sure he has an elderly based anxiety disorder, and his doc agrees.

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My father is 87 years old, works out at a gym everyday. He lives with his brother, and I live with them pretty much 10 months out of the year. They're in OH, and I live in CA.
I think I have the opposite problem of the majority of children who take care of their parents. My dad handed over his car keys three years ago, and even his doctors felt it was too soon, that my dad was fine to drive.
My father is overly cautious about walking, showering, etc. to the point where it's affecting his quality of life.
He thinks he's cognitively impaired. He's not. His short term memory is better than mine. I'm 48.
I'm pretty sure he has an elderly based anxiety disorder, and his doc agrees. But my dad won't take the med prescribed to alleviate some of these symptoms. My father is a retired physician, and sometimes I think that he's so caught up in his age, and his knowledge regarding that statistic. I just don't know what to do. This is affecting my marriage, but I'm the only one left. I lost my sister and mom to breast cancer over 10 years ago. My uncle and cousins are completely useless. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

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When I worked full time and dealth weekly with multiple funding deadlines, I fund that kava kava was an excellent aid that enabled me tofocus enough to get my work done, and also to sleep without having my mind "working" all night on those issues! Kava comes in both capsule and pilll form. Very mild - but I could feel it work and wear off.
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Hksant,

I recommend you help your father try non-drug treatments for anxiety. They generally have a good track record and work as well as medication. Cognitive behavioral therapy has been studied, and also mindfulness. The website Helpguide.org has some good pages on non-drug treatment of anxiety, although I'm not sure any of them are aging-specific.

Re medications, those that "take the edge off" are usually sedatives and tranquilizers which have been shown to increase fall risk and dementia risk. So your dad would be right to want to avoid those.

Another class of medications sometimes used to treat anxiety are the SSRIs like Zoloft. These are often used in older adults, although some research shows they might increase fall risk a little bit.

Anxiety and worry is a huge quality of life issue for older adults, and is potentially bad for long-term brain health as well. So I'm glad you are trying to find help for him. If he can develop some non-drug approaches to managing his worries, this will pay off for the rest of his life. Good luck!
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Hksant, I know it's tough when they're so smart and won't do what they used to do. My dads brother kept saying "He has the right to refuse any treatment " they brought me to FL to help, then undermined me every step of the way. Dad has a big cancer on his cheek, thought he had a detaching vitreous, and prostate cancer...I was there 5 mos before the bath, and 7 mos before he had a crisis that took him to the ER.

I assume you've hit a brick wall, so sad as it seems you might have to go home and just await a crisis. Take care of your marriage.
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Devidas,

Thanks for the experimentation. Every little bit of information helps. And thanks for the tip on magnesium.
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OTC meds, not medal. Auto correct goofed.
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Check with his doc for OTC medal or RX.
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By the way, there is no way my dad will entertain aroma therapy. Personally, I'm a big believer in that. But no smelly candles for dad. And he would also never take magnesium supplements. He's so freaking paranoid at this point.
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Lisac, you are sooo right! Yes, I have asked my father on numerous occasions with respect to what's going on in his head. We've had a casual, close relationship since birth (mine). My dad will ask a question, and I'll answer it. An hour later he'll ask the same question, BUT he's fully aware that he asked that question an hour prior and knows the answer. How do I know this? Well, I threaten to have his doc order all kinds of MRIS to check for dementia, and my dad will fess up to remembering asking that question and knowledge of the answer.
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Good idea, Veronica. Cinnamon is also nice, and cheaper than lavender oil.
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The thing that comes to mind is aroma therapy. If you think this might be helpful it would be easy to introduce without upsetting him. I am not knowledgeable in this area but lavender comes to mind because I love the smell.
Is it possible to declutter the house so that things are more streamlined and painted in neutral colors.
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