Mother (86) is an alcoholic!

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My Mother is 86 and a former Sunday School teacher. She has always held herself in high accord. She gets her oldest son and her nephew to buy her hard liquor and her shelves are well stocked. She can go through a case in 2 weeks. I have spoken to both boys about the situation but they are afraid she will go through withdrawal if she doesn't get her liquor. Her behavior is awful. She curses and tells us we are worthless and is constantly falling and then saying she stumbled over a shoe or opened the door on her knee. We know it is the alcohol. And these doctors!!!! We took her to the Dr. and tried to get him aside to tell him our concern and he announces to her that the children say you have memory problems and are abusing alcohol. Well, being sober during the Dr. visit she denied both claims so she got a clean bill of health and home we went. Now she vows never to let any of us take her to a Doctor ever again. We felt betrayed when he could have easily asked her a few questions and found the answers we were hoping for - surely there was alcohol still in her blood from the night before! Surely he saw the scrapes down her leg where she fell! After the visit she is angrier and drunker than ever. She lives alone but not for sure, I am afraid. We are at our wits end. Sorry for rambling.......


That Dr. was a moron. You had your mom right where you wanted her and he blew it.

Can your son and nephew start buying less and less alcohol? Would your mom know the difference?

You can't make your mom quit drinking but maybe checking out Alanon would help you get some distance from the situation. Your mom's dysfunctional but you don't have to be a part of that. Alcoholism is a family disease. A disease that you are suffering from. Your mom may not be able to get well but you can.
I'm no expert, but I'm not sure how your mom's alcoholism can be dealt with without acknowledging it exist. Maybe, that's what her doctor was trying to do. He may not have experience in the treatment of addiction though. What did you expect him to do with your concerns? If her memory and faculties were intact at the visit, I'm not sure how he would have been able to proceed, except offering her rehab options.

You say she is an alcoholic, but she still is competent, right? That's really tough. Withdrawal is very dangerous. I think it needs to be done under medical supervision. Of course, ideally, she would agree to go to a facility that could monitor her withdrawal and then help her with rehab, but if she refuses, I'm not sure what your options might be. I'm not aware of any way to force her into rehab. You might consult with an attorney in your jurisdiction to see what options they may come up with, like involuntary commitment. Maybe, someone with experience in doing that will post here with their experience.
If the Dr. had taken 10-15 minutes and talked to her he would have seen her forget or repeat herself 10 times. (He could have asked her what she had for lunch yesterday or how she spent her day) He would not do that. He could have drawn blood and gotten her blood-alcohol levels. He could have talked to her about her falling and reminded her how alcohol effects her memory. She left there and we were the fools who were wrong and she was right as rain! He could have written her something for depression (it is easy to jump from too much alcohol to depression). Any help would have been appreciated. Nope, he patted her on the back and off we went........
A good primary MD will side with the patient, or lose them completely. My sister changes doctors as soon as they disagree with her self-diagnosis.
As for the alcohol: a bottle a day indicates a habit that has stood for many years. There is always going to be alcohol in her system at this point. Were she to suddenly stop cold turkey it would kill her. Honest. Look it up.
Convincing an alcoholic to stop drinking is really difficult. I'm no expert, but I'm not sure what getting alcohol levels in her blood would do, unless she was in danger of overdosing and you said in your post that she was sober at the doctor visit. Maybe, you could find a person in your area who treats alcoholism and get some advice on how to approach your mom. It sounds like a very serous matter that has no easy answers.
an old gal who emits a blue streak of profanity could get into my pants quicker than a 40 yr old super model .
LOVE dirty chatter .

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