My mom and best friend has passed away on 3-6-09!

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Hi everyone this is pintos, I just wanted to let you all know that my mom passed away 3-6-09. I miss her so much! she wasnt just my mom she was my best friend. I know that on a few of my post I was complaining about some of the things that she was doing, now I know that it was not her fault and I feel so guilty! but I know my mom does not blame me even though I blame myself for listening to her Doctor who is an idiot! and pretty much killed my Mom. She died a horrible death and I hate him so much, I will explain later but right now my heart is broke so it is hard for me to talk about it. I still have my dad to take care of he is not doing so well he will not eat nor will he talk much. I feel so sorry for him I now that he misses my Mom so much they were as close as two people could be. now he is in the room confined to his bed all by himself, he just stares at the ceiling. They would have been married 58 years this march 30th. please pray for my Dad and me thanks. pintos

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Hi Rojo,
I'm glad you found a geriatric care manager in your area. They are still hard to find. Make sure whoever you hire is properly credentialed. These people can be a Godsend, but there is no special licensing for them yet. It's a growing practice, and most are social workers or nurses. But get referrals and check them. Also, do a background check if you can.

Most of these people are very good. It's pricey, but worth it to those who can afford the services.

Carol
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Pintos... I understand as I had to do the funeral thing, the death certificate thing, still doing the life insurance and investment accounts thing, selling her car, and again, dealing with my dad. He is mean, nasty and now thinks I'm trying to manulipate him. I've called in a geriatric case manager that I found through the website called caring.com. When you have the energy, check that site out and contact a geriatric case manager in your area. I just hired one, and I"m hopeful he will be of some help to my dad. I'm at my wits end what to do to continue to help him. Try to eat, try to exercise. I know you have to drag yourself out of bed every day and force your self to get dressed and just put one foot in front of the other. I know, I understand. Hang in there.
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Dear Pintos, I am new here, and this is my first response to anothers post, but I too am sorry for your loss. I will pray for your Dad, for comfort and healing. I like to think that when a mother passes away, a beautiful gardian angel has just spread her wings. Blessings to you and yours, Cathi
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Dear pintos, you are wonderful, and when your Dad is in that other peaceful life he will come to know all, and especially how much you loved, cared, and sacraficed for him. Hugs to you! Nauseated
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pintos thats ok everything will be alright i will say a prayer for you and your dad and trust me when he goes you still be alright and as far as your brother.......please don't even worry about him you are not doing nothing wrong, you step up to the plate and yes your tired i been there but im blessed that had my parents in my care so don't let your brother get to you let him say what he want, you do what you half to do to make you father comfortable it will be o.k. trust me i know
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Thank you msdiva, you are so very kind and so were your words. I know that my Dad is suffering I do not force him to eat but I do beg him to at least drink his Insures and liquids. I know that he will not be here much longer, he was not suppose to last this long, but my Mom kept him going with her presence she was always nagging at him to quit complaining and eat and get better, she really did not understand how bad he was only 10% of a heart and bed ridden thats because of what was going on in her body that we did not know about! so now that his love is no longer here he really has no reason, but my stupid brother seems to think that he can make him eat and get better sure thats going to happen. The problem is he makes me feel like I am doing something wrong that I am just letting him die! I take care of my Dad 24 7 not him nor any of the rest of mu siblings, I know that one day probably very soon i am going to check on him and he will be gone I have come to terms with that and it is ok! I just need to get my Moms life Insurance money so I can pay of my credit card that I charged her funeral on So that I will have it to use for my Dads funeral . I am so very tired emotionaly but I have to keep going so I do. pintos
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It is amazing, Dan, how everyday problems get thrown into perspective when "real" problems arise. Remember we are thinking of you and praying for peace during this difficult time for you.

Blessings,
Carol
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Thanks Carol, I truly appreciate your thoughts, hopes and prayers. It's definitely an emotional disaster and a difficult mental battle. This makes me question so many things in life, it changes my priorities now. It make me realize how petty our every day "problems" really are.

Thanks Again,

Daniel
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oh pintos i know exactly how you feel i lost my father on the 2 of march and i know exactly how you feeling darling i was taking care of him too but i had the privelege to take care of my mom to but when she died my dad had a very hard time excepting, forgeting ,remembering.please do me a favor don't push him he feels his life is gone and to tell you the truth she is. 58 yrs is a long time to be with a person and he feel that part of him is gone......please don't take that from him let him grieve cause thats the best medicine he can have without water it hurts i know truly i know im still grieveing of my mom and now i have to grieve for my dad they say it gets better but you know pintos to me it doesn't
i cry all the time even before my dad passed. yeah i know you say things you complain but then you think..........these people gave me life the breath that i take for 58 yrs they gave their time to us and now we give are time to them and then after words we have only memories and if good ways the bad then it tremdous thats the way i feel i went through alot with my family but there is one thing i woouldn't let them and they tried to take dads memory of mom i fought them and i won so let him grieve he will be ok i promised you keep me imformed we can talk darling their was 12 of us and i was the only one and i feel good about that my parents pick me.
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Shad, my heart breaks for you. You are too young to be going through this. Treasure your mother and the time you have together. We are praying for you.
Carol
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