My grandfather deliberately pees on bathroom floor to get back at my mother and I.

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He is not fond of my mother and views my mother and me as one person so in addition to intentionally peeing on the powder room floor leaving a poodle in front of the toilet floor (which has to be copped as many as 5 times a day) he will take a bowel moverment and won't flush the toilet; he purposely drops things on the floor and refuses to pick up and walks over it as if he doesn't see it (for instane his underwear from laundry or is wash rag for wiping his head from sweat); spills liquids on the kitchen floor like orange juice which leaves the floor sticky so that it has to be mopped althoug no as often as the bathroom. I am currently recovering from abdominal myomectomy surgery and was mopping the floor three days after returning from the hospital which I was not supposed to lift a finger let alone mop a bathroom and kitchen floor! The problems go on and on, but these are the worst of them because I also have a comprimiese immune system and need to keep germs under control.


no kidding?
How rude can a man be?
Is he using it to control you? How awful!
I found a product when my late dog had a weeping tumour & wasn't always able to make it out side.

Absorbez - or some silly name. Said to contain 4 cups of liquid in a single sheet, a pet product cheap at Costco.
Layer those on your powder room floor & see how he feels pissing off his mark.
Then have him gather his pissy "missed aimed" mess up & dispose of them since you shouldn't.

Not good ... another nightmare of eldercare!
Thank you for response. I will try the absorbez. I've been trying to think of something to stand out to him when he does that (honestly somthing that would turn the floor blue for him to see how obnoxious he is). We did finally get him to flush the toilet after his BM's, but all of this is wearing my nerves thin not to mention my own health.

What's worse is that he has two grown daughter's who do not come by to check on him, say hello or take him out to spend time with him because he is their father. I actually moved from another state to "keep an eye on him" since he lived alone and I was traveling at the time.

I cannot do this alone anymore and think I will set up a family meeting for the daughter's to get involved because they do not know first hand what it's like day to day with him. For a 90 year old man, he is still very sharp, but has the same issues as our other elderly parents. He forgets and leaves the water running, leaves the tea kettle on and I cannot tell you how many times I have cleaned exploded eggs off of the ceiling from his boiled he forgot to turn off. Just the other day he set a fire on the stove that he did not smell and he was in the kitchen!

I do thank you for your suggestion and will give it a try. What may be an insane that to say is that I can forgive hIs other problems, that comes with the territory, but I cannot deal with the childish and deviant behavior.
At 90 years old in my VERY humble opinion it seems there could be some dementia happening here. With Alzheimer's or other dementias the behaviors you have mentioned happen quite often.

With regards to his bathroom habits, it seems there may not be enough contrast between the WHITE toilet, WHITE walls, and perhaps even white (or close to it LOL) floors!

Why not try putting a target for him to aim at? I recall my sister putting a decal in the toilet bowel when she was potty training her boys. I know your father is not a child, but his 'AIM" is off, so this may help.

A family meeting is DEFINITELY needed. His daughters need to be aware of what is going on, and what it takes to care for him and his wife. I honestly don't think that you should expect much from them, but it is always a good idea to ASK! (the sooner the better).

I will say that if you don't think that dementia is playing a part in this equation, PLEASE have him evaluated by a geriatric doctor. So many times our elders are able to appear 'with it' when in fact their mental capacities are diminishing.

So often I heard from my brother: "Mom is just being a crabby old person, or is NOT co-operating with me" when in fact she was unable to understand just what to do on her own!! She also set a fire in his kitchen when the stove would not 'start'. She must have thought it was her 'old coal stove' and used some paper and (yes) matches to start a new fire!!! Thank GOD someone was just outside and ran in to put out the fire!!

After that my brother(s) began to read the information I gave them on Alzheimer's and dementia and how it affects their abilities.

The link above will give you a crash course in Alzhemer's and also the resources on this website, and other good books on the subject will help you and your grandmother in dealing with the daily challenges of caring for our elders!

Be creative, be calm and be proactive!
awww poor man he wont be here long god is watching ask god for help he is old and cant think like he used to , or the pee does not go like it used to no stream . what he does it is not for meaness , i have a cup for my dad to use when he goes to pee and then he pours into the toliet , then i have in different bottles or plastic clear jars with his water or his drinks , that way they can see the drink and how much is in it , beside at that age they can get nervous and scared , poor old elderly people , forgive them for what they do , and ask god to help you with your anxiety and be patient with your father cause he has feelings too , they dont mean no harm , they just forget how to use things and they are not strong anymore and their bodies dont work like before and he might not see well, make things more easier for him , i have a portable toliet in his room for a night with a cup to use the pee and he pours it in there . forgive your father god has blessed him to be with yall for a while , enjoy your dad and make things esaier for him , then god will bless you with the rest , love him while you can , god bless you in all you do and say

If he's not suffering from dementia/Alzheimer's, I'd make him an offer he can't refuse: either straighten up his act or be placed where that kind of piggish, brattish-yet-calculated behavior definitely won't be tolerated. The reason he keeps pushing your buttons is because he installed them, plus he doesn't believe there's anything you can do about it except pray to a Higher Power and put up with it. In other words, negative behaviors without consequences are apt to be repeated.

If you want to give him the benefit of the doubt, set up a psych appointment to make sure all his marbles are still there. If there's nothing wrong, flip the script on him. Now, if it's his (and your mother's) house, let her deal with him and start contemplating a place of your own so you don't burn out and do something stupid that will land you in jail.

Good luck my friend, and don't forget that it's okay to honk your own horn every once in a while. ... Unless you want to be treated like a doormat for the rest of your life. So respect yourself!

-- ED
In full agreement with edvierajr. He knows what he's talking about.

Sometimes they amuse themselves at our expense. It's cold and hateful but not to be tolerated.

I've been there too, but in different ways. They think they are clever, so don't be surprised if he finds antoher way to poke at you and your mom once you cure him of this.
Ed said what I would say only better either have him placed or find another place to stay my lawyer said 60% of caregivers die before the ones they are caring for-that got my attention and helped me decide what I had to do to save myself.
My mom started "deliberately" throwing trash on the floor - I mean I saw her do it with a bland expression like, well I guess I just throw it on the floor now" - which she would have never done in her own home. Turns out it was hard for her to see and reach the wastebasket. I got a taller one and it helped somewhat. What I am trying to say is though it looked deliberate and stupid and inconsiderate, the real problem is that her judgement has gone bad so that it did not occur to her to ask where the wastebasket was. And she reasoned that if she was not supposed to throw trash on the floor, somehow people would pop up and bring her the wastebasket every time she needed it.

I heard a lot of people say things like "she is still sharp" and "she knows what's going on" but an MMSE was certainly down a few points; not everyone realizes that in many kinds of dementia the person knows who they are and recognizes familiar people; the first problem is loss of judgement or reason, even before the loss of short-term memory becomes severe. Even at 90, a person with really normal cognition would have enough problem solving ability to try to get to the toilet and realize that you can't just pee on the floor CLOSE to the toilet because it seems convenient at the moment or even a reasonable way to express anger or discontent about his situation. You have gotten good advice and ideas, I'm just putting out one more idea - that he's not that sharp any more. The loss of reasoning ability does, sadly, mean that people may become unreasonable!
gee i thought it was only us these things happen to. my father in law lives in a nursing facility and also has moderate alzheimers - he has also severe incontinence - every time we visit him his floor always seems to be really wet in front of his chair he sits in - on trying to work it out i was just informed today that they have caught him standing up in front of his chair urinating - he has special pants on and has of late what we thought going to the toilet but now we get told this - it is really hard to believe because this is out if his character - does anyone have any suggestions on how to try stop him from urinating on floor - the nursing facility has put in place a 2 hour monitoring system where they take him to the toilet but of course bladders dont work from clocks - so if he dosent want to go when they say he wont go - we go when we need to - i dont know any other suggestion to give the facility to eliminate him urinating on the floor - can someone help with another suggestion ?
Would he accept and remember to use a plastic urinal bottle? He could stand up, use it where he is, and set it down for the every-two-hour folks to collect. This assumes he just doesn't want to/can't get as far as the bathroom, and he still can learn a new trick.

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